Bring Me To Life
by wallfl0wer
Summary: UPDATED FINALLY-SEX Hermione is acting differently and the one person who might be able to help her is her worst enemy. Will Draco save her and Bring Her To Life? RR! HrD
1. Crying Out Loud

**~BRING ME TO LIFE~**

**Disclaimer:** This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.****

**Title:** ~*~BRING ME TO LIFE~*~

**Pairings:** Draco/Hermione mainly 

**Rating:** R for sex (IÕll try!), language and violence

**Summary:** Hermione is quiet and reserved in her 7th year. Something has changed. Will Draco be the one to save her and bring her to life?

**A/N** _This is a new story. I hope you like it. The songs throughout the story were written by me and are copy written. Please, please donÕt steal them._

_Okay, there is a song, which will be in italics. There is also a little intro, also in italics. There will sometimes be dream sequences, and those will be in between lines using S~S~S~S. That is all. Read and Review!_

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**~0~*Chapter One- Crying out Loud*~0~**

~*~Crying Out Loud~*~

_Feeling sad, I didnÕt want to get up today_

_Feeling mad, cause IÕve got nothing to say_

_EveryoneÕs out to get me_

_And I, I don't fit in_

_Can't anyone see_

_The pain within_

_I'm crying out loud_

_But I'm silent_

_I'm crying out loud_

_But I'm silent_

_Feeling scared and I can't seem to breath_

_Feeling unprepared, this pain is too deep_

_No one understands me_

_They don't even try_

_No one wants to get me_

_It makes me wanna cry_

_I'm crying out loud_

_But I'm silent_

_I'm crying out loud_

_But I'm silent_

_I'm crying out loud_

_But I'm silent_

_I'm crying out loud_

_But I'm silent_

_Feeling out of place_

_All these people are in my face_

_I wish they'd all get erased_

_So they would stop this disgrace_

_Just without any trace_

_I feel like I'm being chased_

_I feel like IÕm part of a race_

_I can't seem to leave, it's taking hold of me_

_I'm crying out loud_

_But I'm silent_

_I'm crying out loud_

_But I'm silent _

_I'm crying out loud_

_But I'm silent_

_I'm crying out loud_

_But I'm silent_

_Crying out loud, ooohh, silence_

_Everyone's stopped to look at me and it's silent_

_Chorus till fade_

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_How could she be so cold towards them? It was like talking to a wall. No responses. No movements. Nothing. She was almost lifeless. If someone hadnÕt seen her blink once in a while they would have thought that she had surely died._

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Hermione Granger pushed her trolley gently through Kings Cross Station. She was looking at her feet, a look of loneliness plastered on her pretty, round face. Her soft brown curls fell over her features and her pale brown eyes were brimming with tears. She was completely unfazed by the world around her. 

Words were rarely uttered out of her mouth and when they were spoken, they were quiet, blank and monosyllabic. She had secrets in her eyes she knew no one could divulge. She wanted to tell the world, but, when she tried to speak, the words couldnÕt and wouldnÕt come out. In a way, she was glad of this. 

ÒOw!Ó HermioneÕs head looked up lazily, and just saw a black chest. She had crashed into someone and her things were all over the floor. She didnÕt make any effort to pick them up, but rather just stared at the ground.

ÒIÕm sorry.Ó She whispered. Her eyes grew teary-eyed again. She finally bent to pick up her trunk and fallen cat basket when she realized the person she had bumped into was right beside her, helping her pick up her things.

ÒThank you.Ó She said softly and smiled to herself. She hadnÕt seen who her helper was, but knew he was a male from the deeper tone in his voice when he had said ÒOwÓ. She didnÕt think he could see her either. She liked it better that way.

When they finally picked up everything off the floor, the boy put the things back on her cart and said, ÒDonÕt mention it. See you at school.Ó Hermione, still unfazed by him and the fact she still didnÕt know who he was.

ÒHermione!Ó Hermione heard a voice call her name, but she didnÕt look up and merely started walking back towards Platform 9 3/4. ÒHermione! Hermione?Ó She soon realized who the speaker was. Harry. It didnÕt want to make her fling her arms around his neck or yell his name back. Oh no. Far from it. She looked down at her feet again, the tears now freely flowing. She didnÕt want him, or anyone for that matter, to see she was crying.

ÒAre you alright?Ó Harry asked her sweetly. She didnÕt look up. ÒIÕm so happy to see you!Ó She still stared down at her black converse. ÒWe missed you over the summer.Ó Hermione noticed a pair of old, brown shoes approaching and settling next to HarryÕs trainers. Ron. She didnÕt look up. ÒWe tried to owl you. What were you doing? Were you having fun?Ó Hermione let out a stifled sob and turned on her heel and ran, not caring that she had left her trunk, full of magic supplies, in the middle of a muggle train station.

Harry and Ron stared at her retreating back. Ron looked down at her trolley and took the handle and began to wheel it and his own cart, which was not easy, through the barrier.

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Hermione made her way quietly into a compartment at the back of the train. It was empty. The way she hoped it would be. Hermione sat down next to the window and stared into the rainy, gray sky. It looked how she felt. Stormy, depressed, gloomy. She was so confused. Her summer, it had been so life altering. She couldnÕtÕ t speak to anyone about it. There was nothing to say really. She just had to keep going and hope that someone wouldnÕt ask.

ÒMind if IÉ Oh, itÕs you.Ó Draco Malfoy walked in and sat opposite Hermione. He had a look of utter disgust on his face. ÒI canÕt believe I have to share a compartment with a filthy Mudblood.Ó

ÒI know, itÕs a shame.Ó Hermione replied lazily. She looked at him. ÒWere theyÕre no other compartments free?Ó Draco looked at her for a moment, his left eyebrow raised. There was no hint of sarcasm in her voice. It wasÉ sincere. He just shook his head and got out a book from his bag. Hermione did the same. Hers was her own poetry book.

_Skies outside on a rainy day_

_Color of my heart_

_And this dark mood is forever here to stay_

_With it, I will never part._

She looked down at this short four-line poem she had just written. Her eyes welled up again and she looked back out of the window. The storm was over and the bright sun was peeking out threw the clouds. Hermione gave a disgusted ÒUgh!Ó and shut the curtains.

ÒWhat the hell do you think youÕre doing? I was reading! God, Granger, you may be book smart, but god, you do seem so daft when youÕre not inside a classroom.Ó He looked at her, expecting an insult shot back at him, but she just shrugged. He looked at her, his eyebrow raised again. Then, he shook his head and opened the curtains. The sun was now freely pouring threw the nearly non-existent rain clouds. Hermione looked at him and then shut the curtains again.

ÒExcuse me. Book?Ó He raised the book. ÒReading!Ó He stared down at the pages and the small scribbled words he could no longer make out. Ò WhatÕs up with you and the sunlight? You were so happy when it was raining. Are you feeling okay?Ó He of course hadnÕt meant this out of concern, but more of an ÔyouÕre acting strange and IÕm in close proximity with you so IÕd like to know if youÕre dangerousÕ kind of question. Hermione took it the wrong way.

ÒEr, yes, I suppose. IÕm okay. Thank you for asking.Ó She smiled a tiny smile. ÔGod, that felt nice. I havenÕt smiled in ages.Õ Draco stared back incredulously at Hermione. She looked and seemed so different. What happened to her sunny disposition? He had never seen her happy around himself, but he noticed when she was with her friends, she was so jolly, light. Right now, she looked completely miserable. That smile made her look even more pathetic. She did have an air of innocence about her. It was alluring. But that had always been there. She had on no make up and her hair was messily falling around in loose curls around her face. She looked pretty, but it was obvious that was not the look she was going for. She looked at her hands and felt DracoÕs eyes looking intently at her.

ÒWhatÕs wrong with you?Ó He asked this blunt question. She didnÕt respond. Instead, she pulled out her poetry book and wrote:

_Asking to many questions_

_Crying to many tears_

_IÕm not attempting to attain perfection_

_Just trying to crush my fears._

ÒWhat are you writing?Ó Again, Hermione didnÕt answer. Draco didnÕt know why he was so curious. He looked at her again. His head cocked to the side. He was waiting for a reply and wouldnÕt stop looking at her till he got one. ÒWellÉ?Ó

ÒItÕs nothing. Poetry, thatÕs all. Dunno why you care.Ó She said in a very non-chalant, bored tone. He just smiled at her. He got up and sat next to her. 

ÒCan I see?Ó Draco said, motioning towards the book. He looked up at her face. He couldnÕt read her features. Her eyes had an odd, blank look about them. She sighed and shoved the book into his arms. He turned to the first page.

ÔPoetry by Hermione Mirabelle GrangerÕ 

He smirked. Then flipped to the next page. It had simple lines. Quotes by famous people. He thought they were probably for inspiration. He noted these were all ÔhappyÕ quotes. He looked through ten or so pages of nice, pretty poems about flowers and peace and love. He raised an eyebrow. The next page held no quotes, just a drop in the middle of the page of something that look oddly like, ÒItÕs blood. My blood.Ó Hermione stated simply. Her tone suggested it didnÕt matter. Her carefully placed a finger over the drop and Hermione snatched the book out of his hands.

ÒNo! I canÕt believe you touched it!Ó Her tone was not anger, it was moreÉ fright. ÒOh no! Where is it?Ó Hermione was riffling through her bag. She kept letting out frustrated squeals. Draco suddenly felt his finger burn and he yelped. ÒOh no!Ó Hermione moaned. ÒOh, this is bad. Draco, you should not have touched that!Ó She finally found a small vial of purple liquid and she hurriedly unscrewed the cap. Pouring a drop on DracoÕs finger, she blew softly on it till the liquid began to dry and form a protective shield around his finger.

ÒWhat the hell happened? What is this stuff?Ó Draco asked, disgusted.

Hermione had heard his question. ÒYouÕll fall asleep soon. For the rest of the journey. Then youÕll wake up, and itÕll be gone and everything will be fineÉÓ Draco didnÕt stop to listen to what she said next. He was already falling into a deep slumber. Hermione sighed and went back to her calm self. She turned to look back out of the window. A storm was rising again.

~S~S~S~S~S~S~S~S~S~S~S~S~S~S~S~S~S~S~S~S~S~S~S~

_ÒDraco?Ó A cold voice exclaimed._

_ÒYes father?Ó Draco replied, timidly._

_ÒWhat did you do today?Ó Lucius Malfoy could now be seen sitting at a table with his eleven-year-old son. It was obviously dinnertime. Narcissa was sitting on the floor, eating a piece of bread. Draco looked down at her, gulped and looked back at the cold glare of his father._

_ÒWell, I was at Madame MalkinÕs and I ran it to Harry Potter.Ó Draco spat the two words out not so much out of hate but more to make his father happy._

_ÒAah. Mr. Potter. You mustnÕt associate with the likes of him. No, Draco. I have big plans for you. You will have no time for friends.Ó Lucius said coldly. Draco gulped and looked back at his mother. She had finished her dinner of moldy bread and cheese and was looking at her son with a look of loneliness. His eyes said it all. No friends._

_ÒLucius. Let the boy have a childhood. He has the rightÉÓ Narcissa started but she was cut off with a calmÉ_

_ÒSilence. You will speak only when spoken to.Ó_

_ÒBut, Lucius, heÕs only a boy. He should be able to have friends!Ó_

_ÒSILENCE! What did I say?Ó Lucius got up and stood over his wife, towering above her with a look of mangled fury and amusement in his tone. ÒClearly you want what you deserve?Ó He slapped her hard. She whimpered. ÒYou should be able to stand a little pain, Narcissa.Ó He smacked her again and she bit her tongue, trying not to scream. ÒGood.Ó_

_ Draco looked at his mother, a look of horror in his eyes. He had known his father beat his mother, but he had never witnessed it. He looked down at her quivering form._

_ÒVery well father. I understand. IÕm quite tired. Do I have permission to go to bed?Ó Draco said in a strangled tone. He was struggling not to cry. His mother was crumpled in a heap the floor. He knew her frail body would not be able to stand many more beatings._

_ÒIndeed, Draco. Very well. Goodnight son.Ó _

~S~S~S~S~S~S~S~S~S~S~S~S~S~S~S~S~S~S~S~S~S~S~S~

Draco woke when a hand was lightly shaking his arm. Hermione looked into his eyes anxiously. When his eyes opened fully, she pulled herself up and grabbed her backpack. With one last look out the window, she exited the compartment. Draco stared at her. All the fears of his father were returning steadily back. He had no one. His mother had died over the summer. It had not been Lucius who had killed her. It had been Narcissa herself. She had ended her own life by jumping from her room in the attic. 

He hadnÕt understood why Hermione had been so scared when he had touched her blood. He should have been more scared. It was Mudblood blood. Draco had never really felt that way; his father was a very big influence in his life. Draco didnÕt know what he felt about Mudbloods. Throwing insults at them had become a habit really. It was something that came naturally.

Draco saw the compartment door close. He looked around the compartment to make sure no one was there and then down to his long-sleeved shirt and slowly lifted it up. There were bruises all along his arms. He winced as the fabric brushed up against them.

His fatherÕs beatings had to cease or he would surely one day have to be sent to the hospital. He had learnt not to react whenever his father placed the Cruciatious Curse upon him. His father insisted they were ÔtestsÕ merely to assess his strength. He usually passed with flying colors now that these beatings ad gone one for so long. Sometimes he just felt like he couldnÕt hold it in anymore. It was painful. He didnÕt think another thought towards Hermione. Yet.

Draco felt a tear threaten to escape when he grabbed his bag and left.

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**A/N** _How do you like my new story? Please review. They make me so happy. I would be eternally grateful. IÕm down on my knees begging you please! Hey, I rhymed. How cheesy!_

_Grr, I keep trying to repost this stupid chapter, but all the apostrophes keep showing up as weird symbols. Ack. . ._

Love Zsa Zsa

_P.S. Do read my other story, ÔDangerously In LoveÕ. I love when people write big long reviews too :hint hint:. _


	2. Lonely Girl

**Disclaimer:** This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.****

**A/N** _Hello all. I hope you like this chapter. Have any of you read my other story? Did you like? Please review for both of them. You have no idea how much it means to me and if any of you are writers on this site, you should sympathize with me. All praise, constructive criticism and just plain old ÔI hated it!Õ. Those flames are rather offensive, but if you hated it, why are you even bothering to review? Am I really such a terrible writer? Is Lily? _

_Oh! And please say whether you like the song or not. ÔCrying Out LoudÕ and ÔLonely GirlÕ._

_Mwahz! I love you all._

~Zsa Zsa

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**~0~*Chapter Two- Lonely Girl*~0~**

~*~Lonely Girl~*~

_Seeing her cry for the first time_

_Seeing her smile for the last time_

_ItÕs more then I can bear_

_To leave her lonely there_

_Please help me help her find her way_

_SheÕs lost_

_So confused_

_Stuck in this world_

_Feeling so abused_

_I was lost until I found you_

_Lonely girl_

_Seeing her tears drip from her eyes_

_Seeing the shine gone from her smile_

_I donÕt think anyone understands_

_She needs more then I am_

_But IÕll try to help her find her way_

_SheÕs lost_

_So confused_

_Stuck in this world_

_Feeling so abused_

_I was lost until I found you_

_Lonely girl_

_She feels so alone_

_Without anyone_

_But she donÕt ever complain_

_Why canÕt she just come out and say_

_WhatÕs on her mind?_

_SheÕs lost_

_So confused_

_Stuck in this world_

_Feeling so abused_

_I was lost until I found you_

_Lonely girl_

_SheÕs lost_

_So confused_

_Stuck in this world_

_Feeling so abused_

_I was lost until I found you_

_Lonely girl_

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_ÔI canÕt let them see me cry. I just canÕt. DonÕt cry. DonÕt draw attention to yourself. YouÕre just confused. Nothing to worry about. IÕll be fine on my own. Just fine.Õ_

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Draco got into a horse-drawn carriage on his own. He needed time to think. He made sure Crabbe and Goyle hadnÕt seen him. He didnÕt want those great oafs following him around this year. He was independent. No problems. Nothing would interfere with his plans. He was alone and thatÕs the way he wanted it.

Hermione also had the same plan as Draco. She wanted a carriage to herself, but as there are not an infinite amount of carriages, she happened to get into DracoÕs nearly empty carriage.

ÒGet out.Ó Draco said stiffly. He looked into her eyes deeply as he said these words. They were oddly glazed and looked as if she were looking right through him.

ÒI would, but there arenÕt any other carriages free.Ó Hermione said honestly. She had looked in every single carriage. None were as empty.

ÒWalk.Ó Draco said blankly. 

ÒI donÕt want to get wet.Ó Hermione replied. She then realized he was the only person, save for the boy she had knocked into at the station that she had spoken too. She fell silent a sat opposite Draco.

ÒDonÕt you know youÕre not wanted here?Ó Draco pointed out. He looked at her hair that was now covering her face and heard a small sob. ÒDid I make you cry? Oh this is a day I will relish forever.Ó Hermione looked up, he face stained with tears. She had the most pathetic look on her face. Her eyes were pleading him to just shut up. He wasnÕt having any of it. ÒGranger? Go to Potty and Weasel. They have all your stuffÉ Wait.Ó Draco looked her outfit up and down. Dark, slightly baggy, blue jeans and a black tight turtleneck. It was her. ÒWait. Did you knock into someone at the station?Ó

Hermione merely nodded. She didnÕt think it could possibly have been Draco. This boy was too nice. However, Draco was wearing a shirt very similar to the boy who had kindly helped her pick up her things.

ÒIt was me.Ó Hermione looked up at him. They looked intently at each other for a while. The carriage had started to move without them noticing. Hermione finally smiled.

ÒThank you.Ó She said in a truly sincere voice. She then picked up her backpack and leaped out of the moving carriage and tumbled onto the grass. Draco looked out of the window. She was sitting on her backpack on the edge of the road. Draco looked quizzically back at her. He shook his head muttering, ÒSheÕs mad.Ó He turned back to face the steadily closer Hogwarts, sunk into the chair and closed his eyes.

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Hermione walked in through the doors to the Entrance Hall twenty minutes after the rest of the students had arrived. She had not changed into her robes and was quite wet from walking in the rain. She was looking down when she bumped into to someone.

ÒGranger? Good, I found you. McGonagall was actually going to make me go out in the rain to find you because she seems to think that you jumping out of the carriage and all that were my fault. Honestly. WellÉ anyway, she needs us so that she can show us our Common Room. ItÕs so stupid that Head Boy and Girl have to share a Common Room. God. I donÕt fancy sharing it with you. Oh, and we share a bathroom. This is horrible.Ó Draco was rambling. He knew she was being rather sparse with her words so he thought he wouldnÕt let her even have the opportunity to speak. She was a bit of a bore.

ÒHmm.Ó Hermione mused. She really had no problem talking to Draco now. He was the first and last person she had talked to lately, so he already knew what essentially was up. ÒIt is indeed a shame. However, if I wake up early and go to bed late, we neednÕt ever see each other.Ó When she saw Draco open his mouth. ÒWell, not really.Ó Draco smiled slightly and nodded, then turned his back to Hermione and stalked off. He was going so fast, she had to run to catch up.

When Hermione and Draco arrived at a painting of a black cat (Draco looking perfectly normal and Hermione red and puffy), Draco said, ÒPrimer AmorÓ and the portrait opened. McGonagall was standing in the foyer tapping her foot impatiently.

ÒThat wasnÕt a very nice stunt you pulled, Ms. Granger. Merlin only knows what could have happened to you.Ó McGonagall looked Hermione up and down. ÒBut, since you seem in a fit state, I will get on with showing you around your new quarters.Ó McGonagall turned so her back was facing the two students and she began to walk, though in a pace much slower to the one Draco had adopted. McGonagall arrived at a door that she opened and then she stood back and motioned them in.

ÒGranger, that is your roomÓ she said, pointing to a grand mahogany door on her right, ÒAnd Malfoy, your room is on the left. Your Common Room is directly in front of you and the bathroom is through that door.Ó McGonagall finished with a point to a door further down on the right.

ÒAll clear?Ó McGonagall asked. The two students nodded. ÒGood. Goodnight.Ó

Once McGonagall left, Draco turned to Hermione. ÒWould you like to have a look around?Ó Hermione nodded sweetly. She was being nice. Normal. Perfectly normal. How odd!

Draco quirked an eyebrow, ÒYouÕre acting very strange. WhatÕs up?Ó He and she were walking towards the Common Room.

Hermione looked down. ÒNothing. Why do you ask?Ó

ÒYou just seem so different. Not that I really knew you before, but, itÕs just odd. The way youÕre behaving. And what was up with your blood back in the train.Ó

Hermione kept her head planted down, looking at her feet, ÒI canÕt tell you,Ó she whispered.

ÒWow!Ó Draco breathed. Hermione looked up and saw the glorious new common room, it was certainly a site to see. Book shelves filled with books aligned the stone walls, filling the room with warmth. A plushy black velvet couch was in front of a large crackling fire and the coffee table, mahogany, was adorned with a bowl of succulent looking fruit and a few wizarding magazines. Two desks were on either side of the fireplace, facing each other and a balcony leading to an alcove of more books was directly above the fireplace, so they could see all the books inside. This place was huge!

Hermione smiled sadly and turned suddenly, not even making a move to look at the books. She ran into her room and slammed the door.

The curiosity Draco was bearing was almost insupportable.

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**A/N **_Review minions!_


	3. Dark Secrets

**Disclaimer:** This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

**A/N** _Hey everyone. HereÕs the new chapter. And guys, donÕt forget to comment on my songs. IÕd really like feedback on those. They are all mine, so please, please review for them as well._

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**~0~*Chapter Three- Dark Secrets*~0~**

~*~Dark Secrets~*~

_She keeps her heart closed_

_Never opens up to anyone_

_Never puts herself up for show_

_And then she feels alone_

_But can you blame her?_

_Living in a secret world_

_SheÕs got her secrets_

_Those deep, dark secrets_

_She keeps them locked inside_

_SheÕs got her secrets_

_Those deep, dark secrets_

_Oh, yeah, sheÕs got so much to hide_

_I wish I could look into her eyes_

_And see what goes on in her mind_

_Closed off from everyone_

_Is the way she chooses to be_

_But why is everyone pushing her to be_

_Something she is not, let her run_

_SheÕs got her secrets_

_Those deep, dark secrets_

_She keeps them locked inside_

_SheÕs got her secrets_

_Those deep, dark secrets_

_Oh, yeah, sheÕs got so much to hide_

_When I look at her _

_I donÕt see whatÕs inside_

_I wish I could know_

_To help her to the path she should find _

_She needs to understand_

_That IÕm here to help, IÕm on her side_

_SheÕs got her secrets_

_Those deep, dark secrets_

_She keeps them locked inside_

_SheÕs got her secrets_

_Those deep, dark secrets_

_Oh, yeah, sheÕs got so much to hide_

_SheÕs got so much to hide_

_SheÕs got a wild mind_

_Tame her and sheÕll eventually die_

_Let her be, let her find_

_Her way, her way, her wayÉ_

_SheÕs got her secrets_

_Those deep, dark secrets_

_She keeps them locked inside_

_SheÕs got her secrets_

_Those deep, dark secrets_

_Oh, yeah, sheÕs got so much to hide_

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*__

_Creeping in the darkness, hiding from prying eyes, mainly stormy blue._

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Draco arrived in the great hall after a night that was nearly sleepless. Why was she on his mind all the time? Hermione was always there, why hadnÕt he noticed her like this before. ÔMaybe because I wouldnÕt let myself.Õ He thought.

He sat down next to his friends, or his acquaintances for better use of theyÕre position. They began chatting animatedly about how ÔhotÕ Pansy had grown to be. Draco tuned them out and gazed across the room absentmindedly. He locked eyes with her. The one who had been haunting his thoughts, the only subject of his dreams. She smiled slightly and he winked at her.

She looked down at her plate and then took her bag and stood up. As she was walking, Draco looked at what she was wearing underneath her robes. Not her uniform, but a black, long sleeved shirt, similar to the one she had been wearing the other day and a knee length black peasant skirt. Draco smirked when he saw red Converse All Stars on her feet. ÔThatÕs Hermione for you. Full of surprises.Õ

Draco walked to his Care of Magical Creatures lesson, anticipating seeing her face again. He walked along the corridor slowly, careful not to let anyone know he was having thoughts about the Muggle Born Head Girl. That was unacceptable from a Malfoy. He shuddered. Why did his life have to be like that. It made him angry knowing that he could never get to know her. All the things that made her tick, what all her favorite things were. 

When Draco arrived outside and made his way down the path to HagridÕs Hut. He noticed Hermione hadnÕt arrived yet, which was unusual. Potty and Weasel were they. He sneered at them and turned away, dropping his bag to the floor.

The class was fairly uneventful, very peculiar of HagridÕs usually adventurous nature. They studied a magical bird named Pytathion, thatÕs feathers resembled snakes scales in brilliant shades of orange and red. Its beak was long and pointed and its eyes were big and green.

The only thing odd about the class was that Hermione was not there. Nor was she at Arithmancy. And, upon overhearing Potty, she wasnÕt in Charms either. He prayed he would see her in DADA, their last class of the day.

Draco swaggered in, relief spreading over him when he saw Hermione sitting primly at her desk. He noticed she was extremely attentive all though class, but her participation was nonexistent, which was very strange in her case.

Professor Gurap, a lady who had been here for two years, and broken the jinx supposedly over the position she now possessed, spoke softly and clearly, ÒWe will be studying something slightly different today. It is not so much a Defense Against the Dark Arts, but instead, we will be learning the properties of a few wizarding diseases. Hermione squealed and raised her hand.

ÒYes, Ms. Granger.Ó 

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ÒMay I be excused. IÕm not feeling well.Ó HermioneÕs voice quivered. The professor nodded wearily, and Hermione picked up her bag and nearly ran out of the classroom. Everyone looked around, puzzled, wondering if anyone knew what was wrong with her. Everyone was just a confused as the next. DracoÕs lips curved into a half smile. He was determined to find out what was eating Ms. Granger.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Throughout the next week, Draco observed HermioneÕs actions carefully. He was actually starting to feel slightly worried for her, worrisome being a quality he seldom used. He noticed she rarely went to the classes the Slytherins shared with the Gryffindors. She would only turn up to Herbology, and Draco had no idea why. He found it rather dull.

One night, he stopped her in the Common Room. He had been waiting for her to return from where ever she had skipped off to and he knew he would catch her sneaking in.

ÒGranger? Where were you in Arithmancy today?Ó Draco and Hermione were the only students taking that class in seventh year, so they had to share classes with the 6th years, and it was incredibly annoying to be educated with a bunch of little kids, not that he enjoyed HermioneÕs company of course. Ha, yeah, right.

ÒI, uhÉ wasnÕt feeling well.Ó Hermione stammered, turning away from DracoÕs penetrating gaze. His eyes looked as if they could read her thoughts, and she didnÕt want him to know what she was thinking.

Draco frowned, ÒYou have been feeling under the weather for quite awhile now.Ó

Hermione looked panicked and her eyes began darting around madly, ÒLook, IÕm justÉ sick. Okay?Ó She turned to go when Draco grabbed her wrist. She looked down at it, willing him to let go with her mind. She didnÕt protest physically, but mentally, she was outraged. She kept her calm appearance, ÒPlease let go.Ó

ÒNot until you tell my whatÕs going on. You spend your days by yourself. YouÕre skipping classes, which is totally unlike you. You donÕt speak to anyone unless you have to, and sometimes not even then. Potty and Weasel havenÕt even noticed your absence from the Golden trio. Now, without you, theyÕre just the Clueless Two.Ó At this, Hermione smirked slightly. Draco, relieved to see he had had as slight effect on her, let go of her wrist. She looked down at it.

ÒI donÕt really have time for a heart to heart now, Draco.Ó Her eyes widened when she realized she had said his first name and she shook her head. ÔThat was something you would have been horrified at two years ago. YouÕre seventeen now. Grow up.Õ

ÒWhy notÉ Hermione?Ó HermioneÕs name rolled off DracoÕs tongue slowly and pronounced and he went over her name over and over in his head.

ÒI have a lot of school work to catch up onÓ, she smiled slightly, ÒYou know, with me being sick and all.Ó Her eyes lit up for the first time in weeks. They sparkled with such a radiance that shocked Draco. He was surprised he had never noticed them before. Large and amber-colored, they glittered by the light of the candles on the wall and had flecks of gold, yellow and green in them. They were round and brighter then Draco had ever seen. She looked so much more alive then she had the past couple weeks and she liked how it felt. Upon thinking that thought through, her face fell and her eyes returned to the muddy brown they had been before.

Draco looked crestfallen, ÔSheÕs unhappy.Õ He shook his head sadly and took her hand and pressed it up against his. She looked at their joined hand and put up her other one. Draco mirrored her movement. They laced their fingers together, puzzled by why each had done it. The moment had seemed like it had lasted forever, when they had only been joined for a minute.

ÒIÕll leave you to your work,Ó Draco said. Then he added, ÒHermione.Ó He couldnÕt get enough of saying her name. He pronounced it with such passion and flourish, like he was saying the name of a goddess. In his mind, he thought thoughts he shouldnÕt have been thinking. ÔWhen her eyes light up like that, sheÕs the most beautiful person in the world.Õ Had his father know what Draco was thinking, he would have murdered him on the spot. It was not proper to have such thoughts about a Mudblood.

Hermione smiled again and spun around, running down the hall to her room. Draco decided to take a walk around the grounds. It was a cool October day, and he loved watching the leaves drift slowly to the ground. He put his scarf on, snatched his cloak and strode out the common room.

When he emerged from the castle, he saw Harry and Ron walking to the Quidditch field, brooms slung over their shoulders. They chatting animatedly about something and suddenly Harry erupted with laughter. Draco bubbled inside knowing they were having so much fun without Hermione.

Draco now considered her a friend. Not a normal kind, not conventional, but definitely a friend. Draco couldnÕt define what a friend was. HeÕd never really had one before. His father told him there wasnÕt time for friends, especially Muggleborn friends. It made him sad to know that who he thought was his first real friend, he hadnÕt had until the age of seventeen. Draco knew that friends helped each other out. He was going to confront Potty and Weasel about dropping Hermione.

He ran towards the field. Ron and Harry were already in the air. They were tossing the Quaffle back and forth and laughing. When they saw Draco approach the field, they quickly landed and ran towards him.

ÒWhat do you want, Malfoy?Ó Harry spat out venomously.

Draco smirked in a rakish sort of way, ÒI wanted to have a talk with you about Her-Granger.Ó Harry looked puzzled. He turned to Ron, who gave him a quizzical look back.

ÒClarify, Ferret Boy.Ó Ron said simply. He was taller then both Draco and Harry, but was still gangly and very thin. Harry was the shortest of the three, but had grown to have the largest muscles out of the three. Draco was right in between the two, but he had smarts as his advantage.

ÒWell,Ó Draco thought it best not to say he was her friend, ÒI have noticed she was all alone. You three are usually joined at the hip. What happened? And my duty as Head Boy is to notice whether the students are comfortable, and I donÕt think itÕs very professional of Hermione,Ó ÔOh shit. I said her name.Õ, ÒUh, Hermione ÔMudbloodÕ Granger to miss classes. She is Head Girl.Ó There. That should suffice. It sounded probably enough.

ÒI dunno whatÕs up with her. SheÕs been ignoring us since September 1st. She seems different. Usually when she gets like this, she needs space, which we give her and she comes to us in her own time.Ó Harry explained. He always was the smarter of the two.

ÒI see. Does this bother you?Ó Draco asked cautiously. He didnÕt want to be too informative of his true desires.

ÒNot really. ItÕs kind of fun not having her nagging at us.Ó ThereÕs WeasleyÕs stupid big mouth. Harry elbowed him in the ribs.

ÒRight. Well, IÕm off.Ó Draco turned, hoping they wouldnÕt notice the oddity of this meeting. ÒWait a minute!Ó He heard Harry exclaim. He flinched and turned around, managing to look impassive and bored.

ÒYes?Ó

ÒWhy?Ó Harry asked. He looked at Draco intently.

Draco shrugged, ÒI donÕt have to explain myself to you.Ó He turned and left, jogging up to the castle, leaving Harry and Ron scratching their heads, figuratively of course.

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He arrived at the portrait, out of breath. Why had she ignored her friends? Why was she choosing to spend time by herself. Draco had never liked any of them, but he had always envied their close relationship, and he, having been deprived of something similar, couldnÕt believe why anyone would want to let that sort of closure go.

He looked at the portrait and said the password in a whisper and stepped slowly in. He saw the top of HermioneÕs head sitting on the couch. He guessed she had decided to come down to the Common Room to do her homework. He crept down the hall and up the stairs. He crossed the balcony, going all the way to the opposite side of the room so he could stand over Hermione.

He watched her every move. The way she chewed on her hair when she read. The way she bit her lip when concentrating. The way she stuck her tongue out slightly when writing, and shook her hand every few minutes after scribbling notes down furiously.

He saw her read pages after pages on Arithmancy, Care of Magical Creatures, Transfiguration and Potions. Not once looking up form her work, she didnÕt know she was being watched.

After what seemed like a few minutes to Draco (it was in reality about 2 1/2 hours), Hermione yawned and stretched, raising her hands above her head. She looked around and saw Draco there on the balcony, smiling down at her.

She looked shocked, ÒWhat are you doing up there?Ó

He smirked more, ÒWatching you.Ó He began to walk towards the staircase leading down to Hermione.

ÒWhat? Why?Ó Hermione looked slightly flustered. ÒHow long have you been up there?Ó

ÒTwo, maybe three hours.Ó He was now standing in front of her, grinning an odd grin.

ÒJust watching me study?Ó Hermione asked incredulously.

ÒI guess.Ó Draco took her hand and led her over to the couch.

ÒWhy?Ó She said as she sat down uncertainly. ÒDraco, whatÕs going on?Ó

ÒI donÕt know. You tell me.Ó He sat down next to her, ÒI had a little chat with Potty and Weasel. I was wondering why you donÕt hang out with them anymore.Ó

ÒYou did what?Ó Hermione whispered. She shook her head, staring at her knees.

ÒThey told me itÕs you thatÕs been ignoring them. Why are you doing that to yourself? I would jump at the opportunity toÉÓ He trailed off.

ÒTo what?Ó She whispered, still staring at her knees.

He shook his head, ÒNo. WeÕre talking about you right now. I donÕt matter at the moment.Ó Hermione lifted her head in protest, ÒNo. I want to know whatÕs wrong.Ó

Hermione sighed deeply. She looked away. Draco put a comforting hand on her shoulder. She turned back to face him, ÒIÕve been having problems. My family isnÕt in the best shape. My dad is an alcoholic and he wonÕt get help. He comes home every night, really late at night, drunk out of his mind. My mom tries to calm him, but heÉ he hits her.Ó A tear ran down her face and she shook her head sadly, ÒAnd if she says one word about me, heÕll go up to my room and hitÉ hit me too. My mom thinks heÕs cheating on her too.Ó She suddenly burst out sobbing and slumped onto Draco. Her body was convulsing with tears. Draco held her, rocking her gently, whispering, ÒItÕs okayÓ over and over in her ear.

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**A/N** _Hey everyone! Oh god, thank you all so much for reviewing. IÕm going to individually thank you. Here we go:_

Arianne: Hey chica! WhatÕs up? Thanks for the review. I canÕt believe your reading this. You hate Harry Potter! (I know, isnÕt she odd???) Thanks so much for doing this. If you ever feel like helping me, please do! LOL.

Tenshi-Hotaru: Be patient hunny. I knowÉ it is a little confusing. I guess IÕm trying to make it suspenseful until you actually find out whatÕs wrong with her. Thanks for your review!

NONAME: Ooh, good, IÕm glad. I hoped it would be somewhat mysterious to keep you on the edge of you seat to find out why sheÕs acting so differently. DracoÕs dream was interesting to write. I really wanted to show the bullying of his father. I wanted it to gain Draco immense sympathy. I hope I succeeded. Thanks!

Erica G.: Hey, that is funny! But what do you actually think of the story? Can you do a proper review too next time. Thanks!

Foreveryours89: Thanks for loving my story. LOL. IÕm enjoying writing it. Slight writerÕs block problem coming on. Sigh. Oh well.

PolishPrincess: Thanks for your review. I know this whole issue with HermioneÕs secrecy and the blood thing is confusing. ItÕs supposed to be. Thanks!

Sweetbabe-101: I really donÕt feel like putting the disclaimer. Sighs. Everyone knows that IÕm not J.K. ItÕs V. obvious. ItÕs just such a snore. Thanks for review! Keep on being curious, it should be answered soon enough.

Lady Obsidian: Hermione and Drakie-poo will become friends in this chapter, so youÕll have to wait a sec before they actually fall for each other, but you all know itÕs coming. Thanks! 

Blondie: Thanks for your incredibly sweet review! Keep reading and reviewing!


	4. Pushed Away

**Disclaimer:** This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.****

**A/N** _Hi guys! IÕm so sorry it took so long for me to update. Please review my songs guys! I really want to know whether theyÕre good or not. Tell me which oneÕs you liked, and which oneÕs need work. Or whatever. _

**_REVIEW PLEASE!_** _And thank you all for your previous reviews. I adored them! You guys are so sweet! I love you!_

~Zsa Zsa

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**~0~*Chapter Four- Pushed Away*~0~**

~*~Pushed Away~*~

_She bows her head when I see her_

_She turns away when I smile_

_When I try to talk to her_

_She walks away a thousand miles_

_I canÕt believe she doesnÕt want me_

_I donÕt know what I did do wrong_

_I tried to help her_

_But all she did was run off_

_Pushed away_

_Maybe tomorrow will her back to me_

_But until that day IÕm_

_Pushed away_

_Oh baby, please come back to me_

_She laughs it off when I say sorry_

_She mocks me behind my back_

_I know all of this is to see _

_How I will react_

_I donÕt know why sheÕs treating like this_

_I only want to help her_

_What does she want from me?_

_Maybe I should tell (I feel)_

_Pushed away_

_Maybe tomorrow will her back to me_

_But until that day IÕm_

_Pushed away_

_Oh baby, please come back to me_

_Pushed away_

_Maybe tomorrow will her back to me_

But until that day IÕm 

_Pushed away_

_Oh baby, please come back to me_

_IÕm trying to forget her, but I canÕt_

_IÕm trying to blame her, but I canÕt_

_No I canÕt_

_Cause sheÕs my world_

_The air I breathe in_

_She brings life to me_

_The only friend IÕve ever seen_

_Pushed away_

_Maybe tomorrow will her back to me_

_But until that day IÕm_

_Pushed away_

_Oh baby, please come back to me_

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_ÔShe walked away from him, not looking directly at his glare. He calls to her, but she wonÕt hear. She wonÕt let herself give into him, even if itÕs for her own good.Õ_

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ÒHermione?Ó Draco asked after an hour of cuddling and comforting. She just mumbled an incoherent ÒMmmÓ and he took that as a sign for him to go on, ÒIÕm sensing thatÕs not all thatÕs bothering you.Ó He felt her tense, ÒI think IÕm right, arenÕt I?Ó

She sat up stiffly and looked into his eyes, he sensed something was wrong. She took up a somewhat snooty and professional manner and said primly, ÒNo, Draco. I appreciate all youÕve done for me, but I donÕt think we can continue like this.Ó She took up her old ÔHermioneÕ mode and continued, ÒBesides, IÕve been falling behind on schoolwork and I donÕt have time to be. . . fraternizing with the enemy.Ó

Draco looked slightly shocked. He hated the old Hermione. She smoothed her skirt out and stood up, walking to her room and slamming the door. He then her classical music, so very not her new self, blare up on the magic music speakers she had charmed herself.

He was determined to find out what was bothering her. He looked at the clock. Half an hour till dinner, and he had just enough time to take a shower. He went into his bedroom, and stripped himself of all his clothes except his thin silk boxers. He grabbed his green towel and exited the room, just as Hermione exited hers. She looked shocked and embarrassed, but quickly regained composure. She muttered a small, ÒSorryÓ and left, striding out of the Common Room at an alarming rate.

He shook his head, smirking. He had to find out what was eating her. What could it be? He mulled over the thoughts in his mind as he went into their shared bathroom. Draco stepped into the shower slowly, turning the taps to slightly warm, the way he liked it. He looked at the shower caddy, seeing Hermione shampoo and conditioner there. He missed her already and decided to use it to remind him of her at all times.

When he was finished, his hair smelled mildly of strawberries and vanilla. Scents he wouldnÕt have been caught smelling like unless it had something to do with Hermione. He sighed and dried himself off, thinking deeply to himself about the Gryffindor girl, still not able to guess her problem.

Hermione made her way to the Gryffindor Common Room, breathing deeply. She was a good actress. She could most certainly make this believable. She stopped in front of a mirror a few corridors away from the Common Room so she could check her appearance. She looked much like she had before. . . No, she wouldnÕt think about that. She drew in a sharp breath, and turned to continue her journey to the land of Bubblegum.

Now facing the portrait, Hermione took a deep breath, ÔDonÕt panic. You can do this.Õ She sighed again, pacing slightly, before whispering, ÒPorcupineÓ as the password. The Fat Lady nodded, and the portrait swung open.

Hermione walked in, a familiar sick feeling rushing to her stomach. She always got it when she was nervous. She walked into the Common Room, most faces turning to her. A silence swept over the room before everyone started cheering and saying, ÒWelcome back, ÔMione. We missed you!Ó

She smiled slightly, not because she was happy about the welcome back, but because they hadnÕt deserted her. She came her so people too dumb to know what was going on could surround her. Why did Draco have to be so smart?

She rushed over to her old best friends. A familiar skip in her step came back naturally, and she allowed herself to be engulfed by Harry and his hug, ÒWelcome back! We thought weÕd lost you.Ó Hermione laughed coldly at the irony, which Harry didnÕt understand. Neither did anyone else. ÔTypicalÕ, Hermione thought to herself.

ÒYeah, why did you leave us?Ó Ron asked, also swallowing her in a hug even bigger then HarryÕs; his limbs were longer. Hermione shrugged and sat down.

ÒHonestly, I donÕt know. I was just. . . in for some soul searching.Ó Ron nodded his head understandingly, but Harry persisted, which made Hermione groan inside.

ÒBut, ÔMione, you were crying at the train station. You wouldnÕt even speak to us!Ó Harry said, his voice slightly raised. HermioneÕs eyes darted, looking for someone who might be able to save her. Her eyes stopped on Ginny, and without replying to Harry, she ran to give Ginny a hug.

ÒOh, I missed you, Gin!Ó Hermione wailed, slightly melodramatically. Harry blinked, wanting to know the answer to his question, but taken over by emotion, he got up and joined the hug. Ron followed suit.

ÒGuysÓ, Hermione said, adopting her old bossy manner, ÒDinner is starting soon.Ó They all nodded, making a single file line like little children to leave the Common Room. She just rolled her eyes.

When they arrived in the Great Hall for dinner, Hermione had already had too much cheerfulness and Quidditch talk then she could handle. She almost, almost, looked at Draco as if to say, ÔOh Merlin! Can I come back.Õ But no, she wouldnÕt.

She managed to stick it out all dinner, but theyÕre bubbly conversations and wild antics made her slightly sick.

ÒWell, IÕm getting tired.Ó Hermione said when she was done with dinner.

Harry looked at his watch, ÒItÕs seven thirty, ÔMione. Are you feeling okay?Ó

Hermione nodded profusely, ÒOh, yes, IÕm fine. Very, er, chipper!Ó Harry smiled and Hermione smiled weakly back.

ÒWell, bye, ÔMione!Ó Ginny squealed. Hermione just halfheartedly waved, making a face when her back was turned. Draco noticed this and chuckled.

ÔOh Merlin,Õ she thought, ÔI have to go back to Draco.Õ

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**A/N** _Hey guys! Sorry it wasnÕt very long. Sort of a transition chapter. Review please. Like this:_

Tell me what you liked/disliked about the chapter. Say, ÒI want LilyÓ. Review my song. 

_I would really appreciate your views on my writing style, story construction and anything else you want to comment on._

_Thanks! And merci beaucoup pour tous de tes revues!_

~Zsa Zsa xoxo


	5. Still Here

**Disclaimer:** This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

**A/N** _The song at the beginning will come later in the story. ItÕs called, no duh, ÒStill HereÓ. Thanks for all your fabulous reviews. Keep them coming! R/R!!_

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**~*~0~ Chapter Five- Still Here ~0~*~**

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ÔHe branded pain on his arm. He gave himself to darkness. He died inside, not thinking of what she might do if she were there. Not thinking. He wasnÕt thinking.Õ

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Draco sat alone by the lake, smoking a cigarette. His black leather jacket reflected his mood and his eyes were confused and swarming pools of grey. He threw the cigarette on the ground, crushing it with his boot. Looking back up at the castle, he breathed a deep sigh and closed his eyes.

He then pulled up the sleeve of his jacket, staring at the pale milky skin of his forearm. He traced a finger along the soft skin, flinching slightly.

Was he ready?

His father had asked him that question a lot these days. He was of age as his sixteenth birthday past two years ago. He looked across the lake again, his eyes now blurry with tears of hate and anger.

ÔI blame it on you.Õ He thought bitterly.

Then, he walked slowly and quietly into the forest. Careful not to make the twigs that scattered the floor break, he crouched low on the ground and made his way through the enormous forest, till he reached the other side.

It was night now, and he was tired and uncomfortable. He sat down on a rock just on the forest edge, blanketed in darkness. He massaged his shoulder and wiped the sweat on his forehead.

His father would be pleased.

He was now old enough to apparate, and was not inside the confining invisible walls of Hogwarts. He sighed deeply and stood up, his legs nearly giving up on him. He took all the strength he could muster and apparated with a faint ÔpopÕ. 

He arrived at his fatherÕs feet. The new, expensive leather boot kicked Draco slightly, motioning him to get up. He got slowly to his knees, and with great difficulty managed to get to his feet.

ÒSo glad you could join us, Draco.Ó LuciusÕs silky voice echoed through the dungeon, and he sneered at his son. Draco flinched at the evil look his father was giving him.

ÒIÕm. . . ready.Ó Draco said. Lucius grinned maliciously and turned away from him. A snake was mounted on the dark and dank dungeon wall. Its eyes were green emerald and they flashed eerily. Draco shook his head in disgust as Lucius pulled up his sleeve. He put his Dark Mark tattoo up against the snake and whispered, ÒMastero vlabim.Ó

He then turned back to Draco, the sneer not leaving his face. A few moments later, the wall with the snake began to move. It revolved around to show a throne made of stone. Upon it, sat the ugliest man Draco had ever seen.

Lord Voldemort.

He kneeled down in respect for his Ôso-calledÕ superior and whispered, ÒI have decided to join you my Lord.Ó

Voldemort laughed coldly, ÒVery well. Get up off the floor boy!Ó Draco obeyed and stood before the snake like man, suppressed terror on his face, ÒDonÕt be scared,Ó Voldemort cooed, ÒI wonÕt bite.Ó Lucius chuckled, but stopped after a particularly fierce look from his Master.

ÒNow, Draco. . . I have been waiting a long time for you, and your ability. Do you claim your loyalty?Ó

ÒYes, my Lord.Ó

ÒHmm, and would you do anything for me?Ó VoldemortÕs red eyes blazed and glinted, as if on fire.

ÒOf course, my-Ò

ÒEven kill a classmate?Ó Draco looked horror stricken. Voldemort got up from his seat. He was taller then Draco, and much too thin. His spindly fingers were tapping together gently. ÒNow, you see, Draco. My servants must prove their loyalty to me. No one by I should matter anymore. Not even your own father should be of any importance to you, like you are of no importance to him.Ó Draco flinched, ÒYou didnÕt like that, did you? We need you on our team, Draco.

ÒYou are far more powerful then your father could ever hope to be. I would be prepared to end his life if you would only prove your loyalty. Please, Draco. Be reasonable.Ó One could tell the word ÔpleaseÕ was never used my Voldemort. Why was he so anxious for Draco to join him, ÒYou are my heir. I need you to carry on my traditions when I am gone. For it wonÕt be long, I can feel it. I know my ending is near, and I will face it like a man, I just need to know that my work will be continued. Are you willing?Ó

ÒI. . . amÓ He looked at his father, who was now even whiter then usual, if possible. A look of sheer terror played across his handsome features and he flinched ever so slightly.

ÒMy Lord, surely you were lying just to make the boy-Ô

ÒSilence.Ó Voldemort barked, ÒYour son is important to me, and I will do whatever I can to save him, even if it means killing you. ItÕs never stopped me before, has it Lucius? I killed your father for you. Ever heard of karma?Ó

Lucius whimpered and backed up to the wall behind him. He sank to the floor, all of a sudden not looking quite as confident as he had before.

ÒWho will I have to. . . kill?Ó Draco whispered.

ÒI think. . .Ronald Weasley.Ó

Draco Ôs expression did not change, but his mind was racing. Hermione wonÕt be happy if he kills her ex-best friend. Even if he is too hot-tempered and ignorant, she still loved him, she just didnÕt wan to spend time with him. He next spoke words he thought he would never say.

ÒAlright, I will kill Weasley.Ó Voldemort smiled. He laughed coldly, letting it boom through the dungeon, echoing off the walls.

ÒWell, go then. I expect it to be done as soon as possible. Is that understood?Ó

ÒYes sir.Ó

ÒGood, go!Ó Draco disappeared with a ÔpopÕ. Voldemort smiled evilly and thought, ÒThis shall be fun.Ó

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Draco walked through the halls of Hogwarts, his fingers gingerly touching the blade of the dagger in his hands. He looked scared, but he didnÕt know what else to do. It was nighttime, and no soul stirred. He would have been caught had he not been Head Boy.

He rounded a corner, coming to the portrait of the Fat Lady where the Gryffindor Common room was. He had a vial of Polyjuice Potion in his pocket so he wouldnÕt be expected. He decided to take on the look of a fellow Slytherin, Blaise Zabini. Chugging the vial down, he dropped it to the floor as he began to morph.

Staggering to his feet, he touched his face gingerly. It was oily and sallow. His hand moved to his hair, and it was bristly. He smile to himself, the potion had most definitely worked. He then whispered the password to the Fat Lady, and she grunted, but opened slowly. 

Draco crept to the foot of the boys stairs, his heart pounding.

He opened the door to their dormitory, seeing all the boys asleep. He shut his eyes, praying he wouldnÕt get caught, for his sake, and BlaiseÕs. ÔBetter him then youÕ, he thought.

He crept to all the beds and peered at the faces, trying to distinguish his target. He finally spotted him, his red hair barely visible under the thick red, velvet duvet. Draco carefully pulled the cover down and stuffed a sock into the mouth of Ron. He was bound to wake up now, but to DracoÕs surprise, he did not. He merely snorted and scratched his stomach.

Draco looked around slightly, and upon noticing a bottle of sleeping pills on the dresser, he knew why he hadnÕt woken up. He looked back at RonÕs sleeping figure, and said a silent good bye.

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It was all over school the next morning.

Ronald Weasley was dead.

No one had seen who had killed him, but it was with a sharp dagger. A pair of old, green socks were in his mouth when Harry had found him there. He looked peaceful and normal, albeit the sock and blood pouring from his heart.

To HarryÕs surprise, he also saw sleeping pills next to RonÕs bed side, the bottle completely empty. When checked for poison in his veins, it was found that Ron had over dosed, and would probably have been dead anyway, without being stabbed violently.

Hermione wasnÕt in tears, but she wouldnÕt talk to anyone. Harry tried time and time again to speak to her, but she ignored everyone. Even teachers wouldnÕt get a response out of her in class, even when asked. She stared out into space all day.

No one knew what she was doing, why she was so quiet. Everyone knew she hasnÕt said much to Ron or Harry that year.

But what surprised everyone most was that Draco was also quiet. He never raised his hand in class, or did much of anything. He stared into space quiet often as well. Hermione noticed and decided to take her chances and talk to him.

ÒDraco?Ó Her voice came out rather raspy. She hadnÕt spoken in quite a while.

ÒMmm?Ó Draco knew what was bothering him. The guilt pounded through his veins. Guilt was like a blanket constantly covering him, keeping him over heated. He hated himself so desperately for what he had done.

ÒAre you all right? I never imagined youÕd get so shook up over RonÕs death.Ó She wavered on the word death. It was sort of a finalization that he was indeed gone.

ÒIt just sort of put my life in perspective, I guess. I honestly donÕt know why IÕm so upset.Ó ÔI killed him! I killed him, thatÕs why!!!Õ, his thoughts screamed the words, but his mouth was wired shut.

ÒHe died before he was stabbed, you know.Ó Hermione looked into DracoÕs stormy eyes, seeing sadness and regret, and even a glimmer of guilt in his eyes.

ÔNo he didnÕt. I saw him breathingÕ, Draco thought. Hermione the doubt on his face.

ÒOr, he would have died that night anyway, even if no one stabbed him.Ó She watched Draco physically relax slightly. Somehow, she knew it was he who had stabbed him. She kept her mouth shut.

ÒYou know, youÕre the first person IÕve spoken to since he died.Ó She laughed bitterly, ÒMy throat kind of hurts.Ó

ÒI know what you mean.Ó Draco didnÕt laugh, but his voice contained a darkly humorous sound to it.

ÒIÕm sorry.Ó Draco whispered.

ÒMe too.Ó Hermione said, and she stalked off.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Draco knew he had to do it. He ran up to the front of the Great Hall, a magic megaphone in his hands.

ÒHey, everyone! Look, IÕm sorry to, uh, disrupt your dinners, but I wanted to sing a song for you guys. And anyone who doesnÕt want to listen, leave.Ó Dumbledore didnÕt object, much to most of the students and teachersÕ surprise/ He simply folded his hands and looked amusedly at Draco.

The Slytherins whooped because they knew Draco had a great voice. He gave free performances in the showers.

ÒOk, here goes nothing.Ó

_ÒI know IÕve some bad shit in the past_

_But this time IÕd like to make this thing last_

_Why do you insist on walking away from me?_

_CanÕt you see? YouÕre the only one I need_

_When you left me feeling cold_

_I looked so deep inside of my soul_

_Found something to get me out_

_Too bad what IÕd found would let you down_

_But IÕm still here_

_Waiting for you to return_

Yeah, IÕm still here 

_Waiting for our flame to burn_

_IÕm still here_

_I know that I donÕt deserve (you)_

_But honey, IÕm still here_

_Now when I look at you, I see the look I saw before_

_And now I think myself, what did I do that for?_

_I let you down, killed you inside_

_Made you want to run and hide, felt like you could die_

_YouÕve been tearing me apart_

_Ever since I broke your heart_

_Do you think I could be forgiven?_

_Or are we just to damn forbidden?_

_But IÕm still here_

_Waiting for you to return_

_Yeah, IÕm still here_

_Waiting for our flame to burn_

_IÕm still here_

_I know that I donÕt deserve (you)_

_But honey, IÕm still here_

_Let me into your heart_

_Make me feel free_

_Stop ripping me apart_

_For this dirty deed_

_IÕm sorry baby_

_Please forgive me_

_IÕm sorry baby_

_Please forgive me_

_But IÕm still here_

_Waiting for you to return_

_Yeah, IÕm still here_

_Waiting for our flame to burn_

_IÕm still here_

_I know that I donÕt deserve (you)_

_But honey, IÕm still here_

_I love you, baby, you are my soulÓ_

He finished the song, and everyone clapped. Hermione sat there smiling, beaming in fact. He ran off the stage and out of the Great Hall. He stood there, waiting and finally, Hermione ran out and jumped into his open arms.

ÒThat was brilliant. Thank you!Ó

ÒYouÕre welcome, gorgeous.Ó He smiled at her, and watched her face fall slightly.

ÒDraco, do you love me?Ó Hermione stared up at him.

Draco felt the sweat beads forming on his head. Uh oh. . .

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**A/N** _REVIEW PRETTY PLEASE!!!!_


	6. The Moment of Truth

**Disclaimer:** This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.**__**

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**_A/N_**_ Hey yÕall. Thanks for all your fantastic reviews. You have no idea how much I appreciate them. Hope you like this new chapter!_

_Xoxo_

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**~0~*Chapter Six-The Moment of Truth*~0~**

~*~The Moment of Truth~*~

_Why did you have to lie to me?_

_Why did you have to change?_

_Why did you have to betray me?_

_Why did you run away?_

_CanÕt you see that IÕm hurting inside?_

_DonÕt you wonder why IÕm still holding you tight?_

_DonÕt you want to know everything?_

_IÕm waiting for the moment of truth from you_

_YouÕre always covering up whatÕs true_

_Can you stop pretending and making me cry?_

_And if youÕre asking me why_

_I donÕt say good-bye_

_ItÕs Ôcause IÕm waiting that moment of truth_

_Why did you have rip me apart?_

_Why did you push me away?_

_Why did you react so differently?_

_Why did you let me be fake?_

_ArenÕt you wondering why I kept distancing myself from you?_

_Why did you choose to act like that and break my heart too?_

_DonÕt you want to know anything?_

_IÕm waiting for the moment of truth from you_

_YouÕre always covering up whatÕs true_

_Can you stop pretending and making me cry?_

_And if youÕre asking me why_

_I donÕt say good-bye_

_ItÕs Ôcause IÕm waiting that moment of truth_

_Oh, you know honey I ainÕt see through_

_And you know I canÕt stand you lies_

_Did you know that I once might have loved you?_

_Why are you making me cry?_

_IÕm waiting for the moment of truth from you_

_YouÕre always covering up whatÕs true_

_Can you stop pretending and making me cry?_

_And if youÕre asking me why_

_I donÕt say good-bye_

_ItÕs Ôcause IÕm waiting that moment of truth_

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ÔWhat the fuck? No, I canÕt believe this. Him too? Why do people keep doing this to me? IÕm sick and tired of being hurt all the time. I want this to end!Õ

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Hermione slowly backed away. No. . . She looked at her feet, swallowing thickly. Her hair now covered her eyes, blanketing her sheet white face. ÔHow could he?Õ She felt her eyes tear, and the hair on the back of her neck prickle. Her hands were shaking slightly, and she was finally realizing the impact of DracoÕs denial, and of RonÕs death. She hadnÕt even seen Ginny recently. What was she thinking? How was she coping with her brotherÕs untimely death, and with the fact that it was suicide and not murder? Why had he been so unhappy?

ÒHermione?Ó Draco whispered, moving closer. Hermione backed away, not saying anything, still staring at her black converse, shoes she had been wearing since the first day of school. She began looking around wildly, but still kept her eyes planted on the floor. Her hair had parted slightly, and Draco could see her lip quivering.

ÒHermione?Ó He whispered. She still wouldnÕt respond. He stopped closer and watched in dismay as she backed away once again. He kept walking towards her until she was backed against a wall. He shook his head as she whimpered and he moved away.

ÒHow could you?Ó She finally whispered. He didnÕt know what to say. He put his hands in his pockets. ÒWhat the fuck possessed you to say you loved me when you donÕt even mean it?Ó Draco was now the one cowering and looking at his feet. She was now advancing toward him like he was her prey. 

ÒI donÕt know.Ó He choked out. She raised her hands as an exasperated gesture. She looked disbelievingly at the darting eyes and the ashamed face. She couldnÕt believe it.

ÒWas this all some pathetic excuse for attention? Maybe I should go say I love you so I wonÕt have to wonder the halls on my own anymore. Maybe I should kill HermioneÕs best friend because I donÕt know what to do with my sad sorry ass!Ó She was now nearly visibly fuming, ÒYou know what? YouÕre hopeless! IÕm not wasting anymore of my breath on you.Ó

She ran up the staircase, tears slowing rolling down her cheeks. Hermione was now so unbelievably upset that, when she got to her room, she grabbed a blade and hid it underneath her shirt. She exited her room and went to the bathroom. 

She sat herself on the floor. Pulling up her sleeve, she took the blade out of her pocket. The blade glistened by the moonlight pouring through the window. She swallowed and placed the blade against her skin. Her skin quivered under the unnatural coldness of the metal. Her tears were dripping onto the black material of her shirt, which contrasted violently with the atypical pallor of her skin. She felt the drops, wet against her flesh.

ÔThis is itÕ she thought bitterly. 

She pressed the blade deeper and felt it pierce and penetrate, creating a thin red line. She quickly removed it, seeing the blood made her feel slightly dizzy. She recovered and pressed the blade against her skin once more, this time drawing more blood. She ran the blade across her forearm lazily, almost enjoying the feeling of self-inflicting pain. It suddenly hit her, what she was doing and why, and she pressed It harder, causing the blood to ooze out faster and in greater quantity.

She watched the drops of red drip to the ground, standing out as clear as day on the white marble floor. The blood was now running down her arm and she twisted and turned it. She let one-drop fall onto her tongue and savored the metal taste. 

She took the blade, pressing it against untarnished skin and watching red slowly spread, simultaneously to her smile. It surprised how much pleasure she was getting out of this. Suddenly, she dropped the blade and ran her middle finger up and down her arm, letting the blood lap around her finger. She let out a strangled sob, mixed with strange, nervous laughter. She swirled her red, shining finger around and then began to feel dizzy.

She was falling. . . 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Draco walked hurriedly across the green sloping lawn, seeing the dark sky and the moonlight dancing across the lake. He saw the giant squid come to the surface, only to dive back down into its murky depths. He smiled sadly, and felt his way around the edge of the forest till he came to his favorite spot. 

It was the stump of an old tree that had been cut down. His father had told him it used to have the names of all the Hogwarts couples. They would carve their names onto the old wood, praying it would be there forever, like they wished their love would be forever.

He sat, stretching his long legs out in front of him, and he pulled his sleeve up. He traced the pattern of the Dark Mark with his index finger. It was odd that he hadnÕt been called back to VoldemortÕs lair. He thought he might have gotten praise for the dirty deed heÕd committed. Mind you, Weasley would have been dead anyway.

He shook his head and thought of Hermione. Why hadnÕt he said that he loved her? Why was he so afraid? What the fuck was wrong with him? He pulled his sleeve down, feeling slightly sick when he saw the skull with a snake protruding from its mouth.

He stomach was churning. Hermione was mad at him now. She probably hated him, but could he really blame her? He had lied, in front of all those people. He had told them of feelings he didnÕt really know he had. Did he love her?

No. Malfoys donÕt love.

Draco felt the sting of the Dark Mark, still feeling sore after it had been branded, but the pain did not stop. It grew, and spread over his body, engulfing him in heated throbbing. His hands were shaking and his lips quivered. His eyes shut and were stinging, feeling like they were being slowly gouged out.

He fell off the stump, his heart pounding painfully in his chest. He clutched the Mark in fear. His legs were now shaking, and his arms felt like they were being pulled, and that he was being stretched. 

He tried to scream, but felt no sound escape his lips.

His fingers were twitching strangely as the pain subsided. He quickly pulled up his sleeve, and exposed his pale skin to the moonlight. The Dark Mark was glowing eerily, the eyes of the skull burnt red. Draco stared down at it maliciously. He wasnÕt going to go anywhere he wanted him to.

He shook his pale head in disbelief. How could he possibly have thought joining them would solve his problems? TheyÕd made them worse, he could already tell. He pulled is hair at the sides of his head slightly, and cried out in anguish. No one heard his call for help.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Draco walked lazily up the stairs, and turned down the hallway leading to his dorm. His arm still throbbed, but the rest of him felt numb. His breath was slightly ragged and sounded as if his throat was trying to snatch what little breath he did have back in, there by extinguishing his lifeÕs flame. After all heÕd been through, Draco probably would have been happier dead.

He looked down at his hands. They werenÕt his hands anymore. They had taken someoneÕs life. Well, almost. They would have eventually. No matter how much he wanted not to have killed someone, he knew that had he chosen the dark or light side, he would have ended up murdering someone. He didnÕt want to be a murderer.

He flattened his hair nervously when he arrived outside the portrait. He leaned against the wall and sighed heavily, his heart beating rapidly, thumping painfully in his clenched chest. He hit it fist against the wall, to softly to cause any real damage, but enough to suck his knuckles. 

How would he face her? What would she say? Would she be okay after all this? He wanted to help her desperately, but whether or not she would let him was something he didnÕt know. He certainly hoped so. He turned to face the portrait and muttered the password, dreading what was to come.

Draco entered an empty common room. He looked around the living area puzzled, and went to HermioneÕs bedroom. The portrait was wide open. No one was inside. ÔThatÕs odd.Õ He thought.

He turned and saw that the bathroom door was closed, when he had left it open when heÕd left the dorm. He walked over to it and rapped, ÒHermione?Ó No answer. He knocked harder, ÒHermione?Ó Still no answer. He tried the knob, and opened the door.

Hermione was lying on the floor, a knife near her wrist, a pool of blood under it, still slowing dripping out.

Draco ran over, and he felt his eyes tear. ÒHermione!Ó He scooped her up, and ran towards the door. He threw it open and hurried to the portrait. The limp girl was still breathing, but only just. Her heart was beating ever so slightly, and the blood on her wrist was leaving a trail wherever Draco walked.

He hurried to the Hospital Wing. It was late at night, ÒMadame Pomfrey!Ó he shouted wildly. He stumbled around in the dark, and shouted louder, ÒMadame Pomfrey!Ó No one was around, he shrieked and slowly dropped to the floor, now sobbing, ÒMadame Pomfrey! Madame Pomfrey!Ó

A very sleepy looking Pomfrey came out of her room, looking very annoyed and frazzled. ÒWho on earth is making such a racket? I really will-Ò She stopped dead, seeing Draco Malfoy on the floor, a lifeless looking Hermione Granger in his arms. He was crying, his face down. He had a very tight grip on her, and the marks on her fragile skin were beginning to show. She also saw-

ÒBlood! Mr. Malfoy, what happened?Ó She rushed over to their side, helping Draco up and motioning him over to a bed to put Hermione on. He lay her down with such care and collapsed onto a chair near by. He was sobbing once more.

ÒOh, it was all my fault. I got her upset and she went and put herself under the knife!Ó He looked at her, his face looked pained, his eyes were incredibly tempestuous. ÒShe tried to kill herself. God, there was so much blood.Ó He keeled over. ÒOh God, I think IÕm going to be sick.Ó Draco was a wreck. Two seconds later, he had wretched all over the Hospital Wing floor. Madame Pomfrey called to Draco. 

ÒBoy, you need some sleep. Get Professor Dumbledore. You know where he is. The password is ÔGumdrops!Õ Tell him to come here immediately. Then, we will fix you up with some Dreamless Sleeping Potion. You look dreadful.Ó

Draco nodded and staggered up. He made his way slowly to the door, and turned, ÒPromise me she wonÕt die.Ó

ÒWell. . .Ó

ÒPromise me!Ó Madame Pomfrey wrung her hands nervously.

ÒI wish I could Mr. Malfoy, but there are things you donÕt know anything about. Now go, quickly.Ó

Draco didnÕt wait for an explanation to the strange thing the nurse had just said. He ran out of the Wing, and up to DumbledoreÕs office.

When he arrived, he spat the password out hurriedly and stormed up the moving staircase, yelling ÒDumbledoreÓ all the while. It was as if he were waiting there for him. The Headmaster was right at the door when he called.

ÒHermione! SheÕs in the Hospital Wing. She tried to kill herself.Ó Draco let the words sink in. God, she tried to take her own life. He shook his head.   
  


ÒMr. Malfoy, we must hurry. What happened?Ó They were close to running the path that Draco had taken only minutes ago to the Hospital Wing.

ÒShe was upset with me.Ó Draco gulped. ÒI found her in the bathroom, lying on the floor. She was so pale and lifeless. She looked like a dummy, like she wasnÕt really there. And there was so much blood, and a dagger. Her lips were nearly blue. I was so scared.Ó He laughed nervously, ÒIÕve never been more scared in my life.Ó

Dumbledore just nodded. They arrived at the Hospital Wing seconds later, the Headmaster rushing over to HermioneÕs bedside. 

ÒPoppy?Ó Dumbledore said gravely, ÒDraco here will be staying with Hermione tonight.Ó

ÒBut Headmaster, surely-Ò

ÒI believe it is best, Poppy. Come, we must have a little chat.Ó Dumbledore walked over to the nurse and motioned her into her office. He left Draco standing, bewildered, in the middle of the room.

He walked slowly over to HermioneÕs bedside. One of her arms was wrapped up in bandages. He shook his head. ÒWhy did you do this to yourself, Mya? You know you shouldnÕt have. IÕm not worth this.Ó He smiled sadly and sat next to her. He watched her in silence for hours, capturing the beauty of her delicate face so that it would be ensconced in his mind forever. He was so deeply concentrating, that he didnÕt notice the Headmaster creeping past him. He finally laid his head on HermioneÕs stomach, kissing it gently. He let his eyes drift shut from exhaustion, the last things in his mind was her pale face, and her gorgeous hair fanned around her like a halo.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
Draco awoke to the feeling of someone stroking his head. He opened his eyes groggily, and the hand jogged away when it felt the head underneath it quiver. Draco pulled his head up to see Hermione awake. She looked very tired and the bags under her eyes were incredibly dark. She smiled slightly and then Draco watched as a tear trickled down her cheek.

ÒHermione.Ó He smiled widely. He leant over and gave her a big hug. She put her arms around his neck and they stayed in that position for quite awhile. When Draco finally released her, HermioneÕs eyes darted down.

ÒWhatÕs wrong?Ó Draco asked, his hand caressing her cheek. He smiled in a friendly manner, which soon left his face when she really started to cry.

ÒOh everythingÕs wrong Draco! How can you sit and ask that? My best friend is dead, and would have been because of you had he not been depressed!Ó She looked at him, urging him to say something.

He gulped and nearly whispered, ÒDo you know why?Ó

ÒWhy what?Ó

ÒWhy he was depressed.Ó

ÒNot really.Ó Hermione looked down at her hands, ÒI think he was smarter then everyone thought. He probably did think about things, and notice things. I know this might sound weird. . . maybe even stupid, ludicrous, but I think he might have killed himself. . .Ó

ÒWhat? Say it.Ó

Hermione started to cry, ÒGinny thinks itÕs because of me. She came here before you woke up. She was yelling. I was worried she would wake you up. She wouldnÕt stop. . .She kept shrieking about how everything was my fault and how he loved me but I was too blind to see it.Ó Draco had to admit it was a bit odd that Hermione has never noticed RonÕs huge crush on her.

ÒI miss him too! Why does it have to be my fault? I know sheÕs right. I canÕt help but blame myself. I. . .I wasnÕt there for him this past year. But, he wasnÕt there for me either. When I needed him the most. And thatÕs why. . .thatÕs why I tried to kill myself.Ó She swallowed and looked at Draco with her wide innocent brown orbs.

ÒIÕm sick, Draco.Ó

ÒI know. . . You tried to kill-Ò

ÒNo, IÕm really sick. I have a disease. IÕm terminal.Ó

Draco looked at her, his expression blank. His eyes were wider then usual, but he couldnÕt eve think. He finally let out a hollow, nervous laugh.

ÒThatÕs what my dad did when he found out.Ó Hermione whispered.

Draco just looked at her, her calmness making him nervous, ÒAnd youÕre okay with this?Ó He said those words more harshly then heÕd expected and Hermione looked slightly taken aback.

ÒWell, IÕm going to die. I have to learn to be okay.Ó She swallowed. ÒPlease treat me the same. I donÕt want to have to leave this world knowing that I had one more person IÕd have to leave behind.Ó

Draco looked at her, wide-eyed, ÒWhy did you try to kill yourself?Ó Hermione looked down and shrugged, ÒI thought it might be easier that way. Just putting myself out of my misery. ItÕs horrible just waiting, you know?Ó She looked at him and saw he was listening with rapt attention, ÒWaiting for your death, which you know will come soon, which you know is untimely. ItÕs funny how the disease devours the life out of you until one day, your body just says, IÕve had enough of being eaten alive. IÕm going to give up. You get weaker.Ó

ÒThen you die.Ó Draco finished. Hermione nodded and looked down again, ÒThatÕs why I became so detached from Harry and Ron. I didnÕt want to have to miss them before I left. I wanted no one to love me. I left my home in the middle of the night this summer. I just ran away. I think they understand though, my parents. I took it kind of strangely.

ÒWhen the Healer told me I was terminal, it was just me and him. My parents were outside waiting to see what was wrong with me. I had been feeling dizzy and my eyes swelled up. I also could never get to sleep. We went to the hospital when my eyes swelled shut. I suggested we go to St. MungoÕs. My parents agreed, and the Healer told me I was sick. I laughed. Not the kind of laugh that you did, but a real, full-fledged laugh.

ÒI guess I didnÕt think it was possible. How could I be sick? Like that. The Healer looked at me strangely and then just left me in there, all on my own. I couldnÕt tell my parents what the disease was until later. Do you remember Krum?Ó Draco nodded shortly, ÒWell, he got me drunk one night and we. . . you know, did it.Ó Draco opened his mouth and let out a soft, guttural moan. ÒI know. He gave me a disease. ItÕs wizarding. _Pelformatae Telmingo_.Ó

Draco looked up, with a small smile, ÒThat disease isnÕt terminal. It can be cured if you-Ò

ÒFind true love. I know. But I convinced myself I knew that would never happen. I knew it. Not in the time that I had. My Healer said I had about a year to live. IÕve already wasted about a quarter of it, and what do I have to show for it? Nothing. I have no one.Ó

Draco tried to speak, ÒI thought, well, if I only have myself, whatÕs the hurt in dying. But I didnÕt want it to take me slowly. I didnÕt want to get weaker as the days went on, finally, after my last breath had been sucked out, just to collapse, never to come to again. I didnÕt want to put myself through that. I thought I might be happier if I was the cause of my own death. That way, I wouldnÕt have to blame anyone but myself. I can live with blaming myself.

ÒYou know the reason I went that far as to put a blade to my skin?Ó Draco shook his head, but he was pretty sure he had an idea, ÒBecause I thought for a moment I might be saved. That I might get to live my life normally, never thinking whatÕs around the corner, am I going to die? In life, you always have to look around the corner, but until that fateful day at St. MungoÕs, I never have. Now itÕs all I ever do.

ÒI thought maybe you would save me. And when you lied, I didnÕt know what to do. ThatÕs why I attempted suicide.Ó Hermione looked placidly down at her hands, her fingers battling with each other. Draco looked at her finger fight to. He watched her thumb press her other thumb against the rest of her fingers, ferociously, until her right hand finally reigned supreme over her left. Draco finally lay his large hand on top of HermioneÕs tiny ones and forced the war to end.

ÒWhyÕd you tell me that?Ó Draco finally asked. The room had been bathed in silence before. The only movement was the two hearts, beating as one in the dark, their hands touching.

ÒI thought you shouldÕve known. Maybe I should just tell everyone. I just donÕt want everyone treating me differently because IÕm going to die.Ó

Draco looked at her, his grey eyes glistening, glazed with unwanted tears. He eyed her, and seeing her pathetically pale face. It rivaled his pallor, but Malfoys were known for their milk white skin, and their blue eyes, and their blonde hair. He looked into her eyes, still shining with tears. He looked at her cheeks, which had lost all color. But most of all, he saw she had no smile, something that had been ripped from her from himself after heÕd been the one to bring it back.

ÒI wonÕt let you die.Ó

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

**My Reviewers:**

Fanofbooks.Harry Potter: Haha, you know what your sis said? She said ÒAnyways, please reviewÓ on _her _review. Haha. Keep reading honey. Oh, and IÕm so jealous you are going to boarding school in Bangeragogoland (LOL. ThatÕs what my best friend and I call it. ThatÕs where all my family lives. Sigh. . .) Any who, if you ever happen to meet any boys by the names of Callum, Dylan or Sam, they might just be my cousins! :D.

LILY!!!: Hey dahling! Thanks for pointing that error out. Oops. Anyway, I hope you like my new chapter, and it was fantastic talking to you on the phone. I miss you! And thanks for your wonderful song! I love it!

Tenshi-Hotaru: Thanks for being a faithful reviewer! Yes, it is good that Draco wasnÕt the one that _really_ took RonÕs life.

The elven princess: Indeed, the Ronmeister is dead. I love him in the books and the movies, but in Fan Fiction, to be honest, he sucks. I hope you got his stupidity in this story. :D. Thanks!

sweetbabe-101: I faithfully continue my story, even though I had no plans of stopping, and yet you donÕt actually review when I have updated? That hurts. . . JK! LOL. Sorry. Thanks for your reviews. You are definitely fabulous! MWAHZ! Keep reading. ;)


	7. Life Just Ain't That Easy

**Disclaimer:** This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.****

**A/N **_Grr! Hi everyone! Okay. . . well, thanks for all your exceptional reviews. You know they are much appreciated. The only thing is, I didnÕt get very many. So to all my faithful reviewers, maybe you guys have friends who read fan fiction and maybe you could get them to read it. I love reviews and you have no idea how much I appreciate them. Authors reading this probably sympathize. _

Also, I apologize for all the symbols instead of apostrophes. It really pisses me off. Why does it want to do that to me?

**__**

**_Also really need a beta reader. Please e-mail me or drop a review if youÕre interested!_**

_Okay, here it is. The much-anticipated chapter seven! LOL._

~Zsa Zsa

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**~0~*Chapter Seven- Life Just AinÕt That Easy*~0~**

~*~Life Just AinÕt That Easy~*~ YouÕve confused before 

_I couldnÕt take the hate anymore_

_And now you want me to believe you?_

_You tell me stories about yourself_

_Things you havenÕt told anyone else_

_And now you want me to forgive you?_

_What am I supposed to say?_

_How I am supposed to react?_

_You spring yourself on me_

_And expect me to forget everything_

_Life just ainÕt that easy_

_Work for the things you need_

_And then IÕll think about you and me _

_But until then, you got to know_

_Life just ainÕt that easy_

_You expect me throw my arms around you_

_Make me feel like I canÕt live without you_

_And honey, that isnÕt true_

_IÕve done some stupid things in the past_

_But I still want my life to last_

_And you think that you can save me_

_What am I supposed to say?_

_How I am supposed to react?_

_You spring yourself on me_

_And expect me to forget everything_

_Life just ainÕt that easy_

_Work for the things you need_

_And then IÕll think about you and me _

_But until then, you got to know_

_Life just ainÕt that easy_

_DonÕt act like everything is all right_

_DonÕt make it seem like we have no history_

_DonÕt say things that donÕt feel right_

_DonÕt act like the past is a mystery_

_What am I supposed to say?_

_How I am supposed to react?_

_You spring yourself on me_

_And expect me to forget everything_

_Life just ainÕt that easy_

_Work for the things you need_

_And then IÕll think about you and me _

_But until then, you got to know_

_Life just ainÕt that easy_

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

ÔHer eyes like glace break with tears. Her smile shatters when she thinks of him. Why does he have to make it so hard? Why is it him that sheÕll miss the most?Õ

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

ÒDraco, stop.Ó Hermione gave him a very stern look. He shrunk back into his chair, a more pensive look on his face. She looked at him, her head cocked to the side, ÒDraco? Say something.Ó

ÒItÕs almost as if you donÕt want to be saved.Ó Draco mused, ÒLike you donÕt care if you live or die.Ó Hermione looked at him with wide eyes and then she slapped him.

ÒWhy the hell do you think a thing like that? You know that isnÕt true!Ó Hermione turned away from him, muttering something about the preposterousness of his predicament. 

ÒWell, IÕm offering to save you.Ó

ÒWell, _offering _isnÕt really good enough. It has to be true love. ThereÕs no way you could ever feel true love for me. It just isnÕt possible. IÕm a _mudblood_, remember?Ó Hermione looked at him, her brown eyes piercing him. They were bigger then theyÕd ever been before. It was as if they were trying to search for signs of truth within him.

ÒCanÕt you give me a chance? You seem so keen on dying anyway, but whatÕs the hurt in trying? YouÕve lost all hope already.Ó

ÒExactly. I donÕt care anymore. I donÕt want to get my hopes up again!Ó She yelled. Draco was pacing now, but when she said _again, _he stopped.

ÒAgain?Ó

ÒYeah, again.Ó Hermione looked blankly at the wall opposite, ÒI had a boyfriend over the summer. I thought he might be able to save me, butÓ, she sighed deeply, ÒWhen I told him about. . . about my condition, he got this really guilty look on his face. I knew he didnÕt really feel anything for me.Ó

Draco looked at her, then he shook his head, ÒWhy canÕt you believe that I might be different?Ó

ÒBecause you never were before! You were always the same damn thing. Picture perfect image of what your stupid father wanted you to be.Ó Hermione looked at his face fall. She pursed her lips slightly, seeing that he was ashamed, ÒYou know what I have Draco.Ó

ÒYeah. But IÕm not my father. IÕm not what he wants me to be either.Ó Hermione shook her head and leapt towards him, ripping his shirtsleeve up. She saw the Dark Mark emblazoned on his pale arm. It stood out a mile.

Her eyes watered, ÒDraco, youÕre exactly what your father wanted you to be. I have thatÓ, she pointed to the tattoo, Òand RonÕs death to prove it.Ó Draco looked down, ashamed at his own stupidity.

ÒI know, Hermione. I know.Ó He looked at her, his grey eyes sad and empty, searching for acceptance within her, ÒBut I didnÕt know what to do. You didnÕt love me anymore. I couldnÕt help it.Ó He looked up, and saw HermioneÕs shocked expression.

ÒWhat makes you think I ever loved you?Ó She spat. Her eyes were flashing and she stared malevolently down at him from her crouched position.

ÒI donÕt know. Maybe you didnÕt. But you didnÕt want to love me. ThatÕs for sure. ThatÕs why you did what you did. ThatÕs why I did what I did. You ran from me, therefore I ran to the only place I could ever call home.Ó

ÒHome?Ó She looked at his sad eyes. ÒHome? You call that shit hole a home?Ó Draco looked up at her use of words, ÒYou know what? You know why I ran? You _drove_ me away. You drove my car off the cliff. ThatÕs why IÕm dead inside, Draco.Ó Draco looked as if he might cry.

ÒOkay, IÕm going to let you cool off for a little while. Maybe Potter will visit you and you can let out your anger to him.Ó

ÒPathetic.Ó Hermione muttered. She watched the SlytherinÕs retreating back and smile sadly. _ÔI could love you. Could you love me?Õ_

She settled down into her pillow and closed her tired eyes. She groaned when she finally realized her wrists were throbbing. She opened her eyes again and saw the bandages. She swallowed and slowly unwound them.

ÒScary, isnÕt it?Ó Hermione jumped. Harry was standing in the doorway.

ÒWhat?Ó

ÒLooking death in the face.Ó

Hermione looked down at the red lines on her wrists, ÒYeah.Ó

ÒHow are you?Ó Harry came closer, sitting in the chair Draco had occupied moments earlier. She looked at his emerald eyes. They had lost their sparkle. She felt a tear threaten to escape her eye.

ÒNot good. You?Ó

ÒSame.Ó He whispered. Harry looked at his hands, ÒI miss him.Ó Hermione finally let the tear go. She pulled the covers open and tugged at HarryÕs robes. He saw the empty space beside Hermione and climbed in. He put his arm around her and heard her cry softly into his shoulder.

ÒHarry?Ó Hermione finally asked as she pulled up ten minutes later.

ÒYeah.Ó

ÒI miss you too.Ó

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Hermione was well enough to walk the halls now. She tried to ignore the stares she got. She tried to ignore the whispers behind her.  
  


ÒHermione?Ó Harry came up behind her. She looked into his eyes, seeing them empty like that made her sad. She looked back towards the floor. ÒI was just wondering what you meant when you said ÔI miss you tooÕ. IÕm here.Ó

Hermione stopped and Harry looked inquisitively at her. Her eyes darted around for a few moments before she said, ÒLet me rephrase then, ÔIÕll miss you too.Õ Will you miss me?Ó HarryÕs eyes widened in confusion.

Hermione smiled slightly, and then it faded as quickly and as discreetly as it had come. She stood on the balls of her feet and gave Harry a peck on the cheek. She leant in and whispered in his ear, ÒIÕm dying.Ó

She began to walk away, but felt a rough tug on her arm.

ÒWhat?Ó HarryÕs face was chalk white. He let go of HermioneÕs arm and looked at her as if she were about to break. He stood like that for a while, and then he walked over to the wall and slid down it. He put his head in his hands.

ÒItÕs not so bad, Harry. We werenÕt talking before anyway.Ó Hermione whispered, sliding next to him, but Harry wasnÕt listening to her.

ÒSo thatÕs why youÕve been so depressed lately. God, IÕm such an idiot.Ó He looked over at her, her eyes had lost their sparkle just as his own had.

ÒWeÕre all dying in this world.Ó Hermione whispered as she leaned her head on HarryÕs shoulder.

ÒYeah.Ó

They sat like that for hours, just content with hearing the beat of each otherÕs hearts. 

ÒHermione?Ó Harry finally said, ÒWhatÕs . . . what exactly is wrong with you.Ó He looked at her and put his arm around her, maneuvering her so her head lay on his lap. She sighed heavily and laughed.

ÒIs it really important?Ó

ÒOf course it is.Ó

She sighed again and sat up, ÒOkay, itÕs called _Pelformatae Telmingo. _It usually isnÕt terminal because to be saved you have to have true love. Most people tend to. Us unlucky people just end up in a coffin.Ó

Harry smiled, ÒAre you sure you havenÕt true love? Does true friend love count?Ó

Hermione giggled, ÒSadly, no. I wish it did though. I know IÕd be saved in an instant.Ó

ÒDefinitely.Ó

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Draco wondered through the halls on his own for a few days after Hermione had told him about her condition. He also went to the library to find out as many things about the disease as he could.

He walked into the library solemnly, and as quietly as possible. Nobody noticed him come in. The silence of the library engulfed him and his senses became incredibly alert. He began to hear everything going on in the room, the people sniffing, coughing. He thought heÕd even heard someone swallow. He saw everything, people turning pages, crossing and uncrossing their legs. He felt everything, how the impact of HermioneÕs untimely news affected him.

He walked to the medical part of the library and slid down the wall. At that moment in time, both Draco and Hermione were in the same position. Both were up against the wall, thinking about the person they would miss the most once Hermione left.

Hermione didnÕt know why she would miss Draco so much. He wasnÕt nice for so long. HeÕd hurt her, and though heÕd never really been her enemy as much as HarryÕs, sheÕd always disliked him tremendously.

Draco shook his head, asking himself why heÕd taken so long to put his life into perspective. He questioned everything his father had ever told him about muggleborns being different. Why had he let himself believe that bullshit? He wasnÕt an idiot.

He slowly brought himself to stand up. He looked through the bookshelf to find the book heÕd been looking for. He found it and opened it to the index. He traced his long finger down the page. HeÕd found it:_ Pelformatae Telmingo._

_Pelformatae Telmingo is a form of cancer. It affects the heart in a most peculiar way. If one isnÕt in love, the heart shuts down. Most people who are victims of this disease are those who have never believed in love with all their heart. If one does have the disease and they are in love, a complicated charm and potion can be made and it will save the victim._

_The potionÕs ingredients include two hairs from the victim and one from their lover. Along with other ingredients, the potion has an 30% success rate. It is only full proof when it also includes a hair from their childÕs head. The disease often affects younger people, therefore the decision to have a child isnÕt always the best one._

_The charm is also another way of saving the victim. Their true love must utter the words and if their love isnÕt true, the victim will die on the spot. One must be sure of the lovers dedication to the victim._

Draco closed the book and gulped. So thatÕs why she was so unwelcoming to the idea of being saved. If he was just forcing himself to love her to save her, then sheÕs die faster. If they tried the potion, thereÕs no way one would know if it would work. The chances were pretty unlikely, so theyÕd have to get pregnant. He sighed.

HeÕd have to go see Hermione.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

After Harry had left her to go to class, she had free time since she was still on sick leave. She wandered the grounds, exploring places sheÕd never been able to before. She went into the forest a little ways, admiring the wild and coarse plant life growing there, free and intertwining. 

She sat down on the ground at the edge of the forest, leaning against a big tree. She sighed and took out her book of poetry from her bag. She opened it, flipping to a new page. She took her quill and ink bottle out and began to write.

I havenÕt see him for days 

_But I know heÕs here_

_Lingering in my mind_

_Steadfast in my heart_

_He brings me happiness_

_And so much sadness_

_How can he be so different_

_In so many ways_

_And yet be the same?_

_I miss him when heÕs gone_

_And I donÕt even know why_

_If I could kiss him right now_

_Maybe he could leave_

_And I wouldnÕt be missing him for eternity_

_Because I would still taste him on my lips_

_ItÕs funny how so much can change_

_How everything youÕve ever known_

_Disappears, never to be revisited_

Hermione closed her book and looked up. Just that second, she saw Draco come out of the castle. He looked around for a second, and then spotted her. He walked towards her, and as he did so, she could feel her heart sinking into her stomach. _What could she say?_

ÒHermione!Ó Draco sat down across from her. He looked intently at her face, willing her to look at him. ÒHermione? Come on. Look at me.Ó He pulled her chin up with his hand and smiled at her. She just looked blankly back at him

ÒI read about your disease.Ó He began, swallowing slightly when her face paled, ÒNow I understand everything a bit better. I understand why you donÕt want to take risks.Ó

Hermione didnÕt know what to say, so she didnÕt speak. She just continued to look at him, trying to keep her expression as blank as possible. It was becoming hard for her not to give in to his genuine concern and his twinkling eyes.

ÒCan I tell you something?Ó He saw her nod very slightly, and continued, ÒMy father, I never liked him. He influenced me, but I never actually liked him. I didnÕt know what else to think. He just made me feel what I did and I almost felt that if I did go against what he said, if I did become a rebel, that he would kill me without so much as a second thought.

ÒItÕs horrible to think of you father that way. I honestly hate to hate him. I do ask myself why do I then hate him. ItÕs so fucking hard to explain. I donÕt expect you to understand. ItÕs like. . . he drove my mother to her death to put it simply. He beat her and never treated her the way she deserved to be treated. The women in her family werenÕt very respecting of women, and they gave them away like they were selling them.Ó Draco flinched when he said this, and he looked at HermioneÕs reaction. Her eyes were oddly bright and he noticed her bottom lip quivering.

They looked at each other for a while until Hermione began to full out cry. Draco was alarmed, but too her into him arms, stroking her hair. They stayed like this for a while, and the soft sound of HermioneÕs tears nearly brought Draco to tears himself. She was crying out of sympathy for him. He couldnÕt believe that.

ÒHermione?Ó He whispered. She looked at him, her eyes puffy. She looked so lost. _When did it get this far? _Draco thought. He couldnÕt help it. He kissed her lightly. They didnÕt move from the spot for several seconds. When they did finally pull away, Hermione was no longer crying. She was smiling instead. She was as happy as she could get in her situation.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

**A/N **_Hope that was good. PLEASE REVIEW!!!! I REALLY ADORE THEM SO MUCH AND DESPERATELY REQUIRE THEM! No, seriously. Okay, now you guys add me to your favorite list!_

_My thanks:_

**LILY!!: **Hi bunny-boo. I love you. Thank you for your help but if you tell my mother I will come to Fromageagogoland and kill you. I really will. I thought you said you were going to give me a nice big detailed review. I got fantastic chap and that was it. ThatÕs fabulous, but I really like it when people give constructive criticism too. Please!

**Jess: **Hey chica. How are you? Sorry about the forwards. Icksville, I know. Thank you for your enthusiastic review. Love the story, but I wonÕt tell you if itÕs what IÕm planning on doing or not because that would spoil everything. Grr! It sucks majorly that you donÕt have AIM. Grr. . .

**Mary: **Um, yeah, thanks for your review but IÕm like not sure whether you liked it or not. ? Am I being dumb here?

**Asiha: **Thanks for you your review. DidnÕt explain about the blood cause it really wouldnÕt be a good idea for me to spoil it just yet. I like the major compliment you gave me saying my songs were like Evanescence. Happiness! Now, as for the poems, I donÕt know whether you were referring to the ones on this story or my journal web page blog thing. Your poem is good. Definitely morbid and my style. ;). I donÕt know where IÕd use it cause my journal is strictly my stuff unless itÕs something that really inspires me and the poems arenÕt very frequent on this story so I donÕt know where I could fit it in. 

**Pink-lemonade: **The ÒWalk to RememberÓ movie was kind of what I originally based it on. Glad you spotted the connection. Also, I really appreciate your compliment on my songs. Major confidence boost! Thanks! As for Evanescence, yes, I did get the title from that song. And I love them too. IÕm loving ÒTourniquetÓ and ÒHelloÓ right now. I also really like ÒSurrenderÓ, ÒMy ImmortalÓ and ÒImaginaryÓ. Very cool! Thanks! Your review is supreme awesomeness too! And I read your story and wrote a poem based on it. I shall find it. Hold on a sec! ~rummages through all poems and smiles satisfied upon finding the right one~. Okay, this is based on the first chapter of ÒWhispered VoicesÓ. Great title by the way.

**The Beauty of a Bloodstained Rose-Part 2**

I face the lake

A salty tear in my eye

I'm holding your rose

And willing myself not to cry

Your hateful words

Echo through the halls

You watch my dreams get squashed

You watch me stumble and fall

I look down at the rose

Its beauty is unreal

I begin to crush it in my hand

The blood reflects how I feel

I thought you loved me

This ordeal was like a slap to the face

I feel your breath behind me, on my neck

But what you did cannot be erased

I turn around

Facing you with pride

I smear my blood down your face

It's your turn to cry

You like? LOL. Well, thanks for your review anyhow. Mwahz!

**Tenshi-Hotaru: **I love you! You review like every chapter! Thanks! I really appreciate it! Thanks for all of your support and I really hope you liked this chapter! Click the review button ASAP! :-D! 

**Chicken Rocks: **I love chickens too! Remind me of my best friend Lily. She adores them! Thanks for the really sweet review. Haha, guess what? I updated. *No shit Sherlock!*

**HPFCarly: **Aww! Merci beaucoup! Je suis tres fiere de ton revue! (Thanks a lot! IÕm very proud of your review!) Thanks a million times! God, youÕre so sweet!

**A/N **Guys! YÕall have to review AND add me to your fave lists! IÕll love you forever, I promise. *bows down to all her little reviewer people*


	8. I Love You

**Disclaimer:** This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.****

**A/N **_Sorry its been so long. I was having writerÕs block and therefore wrote another story. Please read it! IÕm quite proud if I do say so meeself. Anyway, oh, and perhaps you could read ÒDangerously in LoveÓ. The latest chapter? I got like barely any reviews for that and I worked pretty hard on it so yeah. . . Here it is! R/R!!!! BTW IÕm sorry itÕs kind of short, okay, like really short, but itÕs kind of a chapter that needs to be just this, and it was written this length so donÕt be mean about that. Sorry!_

_And please people, if you read it and like it, please drop me a line or two. You donÕt know how happy they make me feel and as wonderful as it is to see that some of you have added me to your favorites list, I also noticed that some of those wonderful people havenÕt once reviewed. I wish you would take the time to tell me what you appreciated about my story. IÕll love you forever. I promise._

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**~0~*Chapter Eight- I Love You*~0~**

~*~ I Love You~*~ We lay together amongst the trees 

_You have your arms wrapped around me_

_A smile is broadly displayed on my face_

_And the past years have been erased_

_I think I love you_

_I think I need you_

_I think I want you_

_Now more then ever_

_I think I love you_

_I think I need you_

_I think I want you_

_Always and forever_

_The blood I shed has long since been dried_

_As have all the tears IÕve cried_

_I want to breathe your life into me_

_WeÕll spread our wings and be free_

_I think I love you_

_I think I need you_

_I think I want you_

_Now more then ever_

_I think I love you_

_I think I need you_

_I think I want you_

_Always and forever_

_Now our breath is synchronized_

_At the same time our chests slowly rise_

_You take my hand firmly in yours_

_All is forgotten and now I want more_

_I think I love you_

_I think I need you_

_I think I want you_

_Now more then ever_

_I think I love you_

_I think I need you_

_I think I want you_

_Always and forever_

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

ÔThey smiled like idiots. The grins were evident from a mile away. The love was practically shining like an aura around the both of them. They didnÕt see to care that both of their lives were now in danger.Õ

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

ÒThis is nice.Ó

ÒYeah, it is.Ó Draco replied. He smiled and stroked HermioneÕs hair. He was glad she was no longer trembling, her cheeks tear streaked. It broke his heart to see her in such a state. He felt her hand grip his tightly, almost as if it was her lifeline.

The birds chirped happily in the trees, oblivious to the word around them. The trees were slowly losing their gold leaves, and the ground was littered with the brown foliage, covering the ground like a layer of autumn snow.

ÒIÕm still scared, Draco. No matter how tightly I hold your hand, nothing will change my fate. I donÕt want to leave everyone behind.Ó He heard a familiar sniffle and tremble in her voice when she spoke. He sat up, jogging her slightly.

ÒWhy the fuck wonÕt you let me save you?Ó

ÒIÕm scared, Draco. DonÕt do this.Ó HermioneÕs bottom lip trembled again, and her hair fell in front of her face. She picked up a leaf, ÒLucky youÓ, she said to it, ÒYou donÕt have any problems. Your only worries are fall and someone stepping on you.Ó

ÒOh Merlin, Hermione. Now youÕre talking to a fucking leaf!Ó Draco yelled. Hermione looked up at his, her big doe eyes brimming with tears. She felt these weird things coming out all at once, her head filled with thought, her heart buzzing with emotion.

ÒWhatÕs happening to me?Ó Hermione said in a whisper. It was meant as a rhetorical question, but Draco saw fit to respond.

ÒI wish I knew. I guess youÕre just a lost soul.Ó

ÒI miss the way my life used to beÓ, Hermione stared off at the castle, ÒI miss the way my friends used to be. I miss Ron. I miss my old self, my old healthy self.Ó

ÒDo you miss hating me?Ó Draco asked seriously.

HermioneÕs head shot up, ÒHow could you possibly think that?Ó She brushed her skirt and then stood up, to face him. She wasnÕt as tall, but somehow she looked menacing all the same.

ÒI donÕt know.Ó Draco shrunk back. He turned around and faced the castle. He sighed deeply as he stared long and hard at the large building in front of him. He turned back towards the quivering girl. She wouldnÕt look at him. ÒIÕm sorry,Ó he whispered.

ÒI know.Ó She stood up again, putting her cold hand to his equally cold cheek. ÒYouÕre eyes. . . theyÕre like ice storms. And you donÕt let one emotion surpass the surface. Why is that?Ó

ÒI was taught not to my father. He taught me a lot of things.Ó

ÒAll of which were bad, am I right?Ó She saw his eyes grow slightly darker as he let her see the emotion of anger flicker in the iris, and then, as quickly as it came, the pain was gone, now merely just a wisp in HermioneÕs memory. 

ÒDonÕt talk like you know him.Ó

ÒDonÕt do this Draco. You know very well what kind of man your father is. You told me so just a moment ago,Ó Hermione spoke loudly, her nostrils flared delicately, ÒWhat the hell is wrong with you? You have some sort of disorder, schizophrenia or something! WonÕt you just stay the way I like you for more then a second? Let your guard down. . . for me.Ó

Draco didnÕt say anything, and resumed looking at the castle. He heard her huff behind him. He could almost sense she was mentally tapping her foot, waiting for him to turn around and apologize. He was very stubborn. 

He felt HermioneÕs arm snake around his waste and he smirked. ÒBack so soon?Ó he asked.

Hermione giggled awkwardly. She took his strong, large hand in hers and she began to walk away from their original spot. Draco followed her without protest. Suddenly, Hermione stopped. She turned back around to Draco. He saw her eyes flutter, and then she fell.

ÒHermione?Ó Her breath was becoming increasingly shallow. ÒHermione?Ó He slapped her cheek lightly. ÒHermione!Ó He took the limp girl in his arms and jogged up to the castle.

-+-+-+-+-

Draco stroked her forehead lovingly, cherishing the ragged, shallow breath that escaped her blue lips. He kissed her cheek; ÒDonÕt do this to me, Hermione.Ó He kissed her forehead, letting a silent tear seep out of his crystal clear eye. He swallowed thickly and rose. ÒI hope youÕre not dreaming.Ó

ÒIn a coma, you donÕt dream.Ó 

Draco spun around, and saw Harry leaning against the doorframe. He blinked and swallowed again. ÒIÕm sorryÓ, Draco whispered, his head bent.

ÒItÕs not your fault.Ó Harry walked over to the bed. He sat on the side of HermioneÕs bed and put his hand against her cold forehead and then pushing a strand of stray hair away from her eye. Harry chuckled hollowly, ÒIt seems that everyoneÕs dying to get the disease.Ó

Draco looked puzzled, ÒWhat?Ó

ÒWell, Hermione is dying. Only true love can save her. IÕm only saying the disease in love.Ó Draco looked at him, his eyes growing wider. Harry kissed HermioneÕs forehead. He then walked over to Draco and patted his back, ÒGood luck, mate.Ó

-+-+-+-+-

HermioneÕs eyes flickered open. She saw Draco pacing in front of the hospital bed she was occupying. She yawned slightly. A frown played on her features, but her lips were formed in a sad smile.

She was dying.

ÒDraco?Ó She whispered. He spun around and saw her, her eyes open. He could see the put on smile on her sad face. He walked over slowly.

ÒYouÕre awake.Ó

ÒLooks like itÓ, she said. She put her hand upon his cheek as he sat on the side of her bed.

ÒWhen Madam Pomfrey says youÕre free to go, I want to take you somewhere.Ó Draco smiled sadly. His eyes sparkled slightly, as he tried to keep a strait face.

ÒOh, where?Ó HermioneÕs voice had perked up a bit. Draco didnÕt say anything, but merely shook his head.

ÒTill next time.Ó And with that, he was gone.

It was now HermioneÕs alone time to cry.

-+-+-+-+-

ÒWhere are you taking me?Ó Hermione halfheartedly giggled. Her eyes were covered with a black handkerchief supplied by Draco, and he was holding her waist and directing slowly.

ÒShhÓ, he whispered.

They came to a clearing not far from the edge of the forest. Hermione was plonked down by Draco, who in turn sat down opposite her.

ÒYouÕre everything I never knew I always wanted.Ó

ÒWhat are you talking about?Ó Hermione asked, her dancing eyes still hidden by the infamous black material.

ÒTo see myself in your eyes would change everything IÕve ever known.Ó

ÒDraco?Ó Hermione sounded a little nervous. A light rain began too fall and Hermione shivered subconsciously. ÒDraco, itÕs raining.Ó

Draco smiled and removed her blindfold. He stood her up and looked into her large eyes.

ÒI love you.Ó He whispered.

ÒDraco, I-Ò

ÒShh. . . DonÕt. Just kiss me in the rain.Ó

They shared their second real kiss in the rain.


	9. Love Shattered

**Disclaimer:** This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

**A/N **_Ack, I can feel the dirty looks from all my reviewers. I know IÕve taken forever, and IÕm really, truly sorry. I guess I just havenÕt been in a writing mood lately, and IÕm not quite sure where the story will go in this chapter just yet. I hope you enjoy this. ItÕs a belated Christmas/Hanukah/Whatever present for everyone._

_No song this time. Now, itÕs a poem._

_~Zsa Zsa_

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

**~0~*Chapter Nine Ð Love Shattered*~0~**

~*~Love Shattered~*~

You ruined me

You hurt my light

YouÕre dead to me

I want you to die

I broke myself

I hurt myself

Simply to make you happy

You kicked my heart

You sliced my soul

IÕve lost myself again

IÕve lost myself again

I donÕt know if sheÕll still love me

I donÕt know if she thinks I care

I want to be around her

Even if sheÕs not really there

SheÕll wake up hollow soon

To see me in her light

I hope sheÕll have me

Otherwise she could die tonight

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

ÒShe knew what would happen. She knew how heÕd feel. She felt his heart shatter at the sound of his voice. He hurt him for so many years. SheÕd find a way to make him better. She was lost, but he found her. Now sheÕd do the same for him.Ó

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

ÒSmile, Hermione.Ó

ÒI canÕt. . . I know I should be happy, but something doesnÕt feel right. I feel cold.Ó Hermione shivered and Draco wrapped his arms tighter around his frail sweetheart. She snuggled in further, but Draco could tell from the look on her face that whatever didnÕt feel right was something big. Hermione looked nearly in tears.

The rain fell lightly around them, making HermioneÕs thick hair weigh down on her head. DracoÕs blond hair was stuck to the sides of his head, plastered in an odd way and every so often, there would be a random bit sticking up at strange angles. They didnÕt mind.

Draco kissed HermioneÕs head, and she turned to face the blond Slytherin. His arms were still wrapped protectively around her. Hermione whispered, ÒIÕm scared.Ó She buried her face in his robes and he could hear her breathing raggedly. He felt, even in the rain, the hair on the back of his neck prickle and the goose bumps on his arms were even more prominent. Maybe Hermione was right. . . Something was wrong.

He felt the air nip at his skin as the world around him turned icy. He felt Hermione go limp in his arms and he felt the tears threaten to escape his cold eyes. He didnÕt know what to do. He tried to move, to pick Hermione up and take her up to the castle, but his legs were stationed on the spot. His hands shook with fear. Something was very wrong. . .

He dropped, his knees giving way. The girl, the diseased girl, hit her head on a rock nearby. Her hair was turning red. He pulled her from the ground and into his lap. Draco took his robes off and shivered when the wind and cold rain touched his bare skin. He cushioned her head, and attempted to stop the blood from flowing. 

ÒWhat do you want?!Ó He yelled, ÒLeave me alone! Let me be with her!Ó He felt the tears come, as he knew what was going to happen next. He held onto the fragile girl as if she were his only hope, a ray of sunshine, his lifeline. He began to whisper in her ear, ÒDonÕt die on me. I love you. You canÕt die. . . I love you so much.Ó

The air grew still. Everything was silent. Draco lifted his head in amazement, only to drop it when the wind came back with such force as to nearly knock him over.

ÒGet up.Ó A cold voice seemed to come out of nowhere, somehow audibly louder then the howling wind around them. ÒOh come on, you silly child. Up! Now.Ó Lucius Malfoy, standing there in all his undeserved glory. He looked at his son as he looked at Muggles and Muggleborns. He kicked DracoÕs side and saw the girl that was once in his arms now sprawled, unprotected, on the cold, hard ground. Draco let out a sob.

ÒI did not raise you to become a sissy, Draco. Get up!Ó Lucius bellowed. Draco got up slowly, but nonetheless obligingly. His head bowed, his eyes averted, he faced his father with a slumped figure. He was still taller then his father by two or three inches. But Lucius Malfoy was not intimidated. He stood his ground and watched his son cower in front of him.

ÒWhat is this?Ó The senior Malfoy asked, pointing at Hermione. Draco didnÕt answer. He stood, cold in his skin, alone in his heart, facing the man heÕd called father, ready to kill him if he said anything else demeaning about his Hermione. ÒWell, you stupid boy, answer!Ó

ÒHermione, father,Ó Draco whispered, his voice barely heard with the wind howling so ferociously, ÒI love her.Ó

Lucius looked taken aback. Fury played across his features and then he kicked her. _He kicked her_. Draco looked at his father with a look of utmost disgust and then he pounced, ÒI let you control my life, I let you mock me, I let you yell at me my entire life! But I will not allow you to hurt her in any way. SheÕs already on the edge of death. DonÕt hurt her, you fucking idiot!Ó He punched his father, then, Draco put his hands around his neck and proceeded to choke him to death. ÒYouÕre the scum here. She deserves to live and you might have just cut her lifeline. SheÕs the only thing that makes me happy and you might have just killed her. Does that make you happy? You just killed her a little more.Ó

With LuciusÕs last gasping breathe, he whispered, ÒGood.Ó

Draco stood, looking at his hands as if they belonged to someone else. He looked down at his father, dead, cold. Lips blue. Then, he shifted his gaze to Hermione. He could see her breath was ragged. He lifted the unconscious girl into his arms and ran. Ran faster then he ever had in his life.

++++++

Draco paced. Harry paced. They walked apart, in the opposite direction, each deep in thought. Harry looked at Draco from time to time, to see whether or not he was sad, or merely pensive. DracoÕs face was molded into a pained expression, one that showed no emotion other than that: pain. He sat down. Harry followed suit.

ÒYouÕve got to sleep with her, you know.Ó Harry said bluntly.

ÒI know. But sheÕs so frail. IÕd feel like I was violating her, or raping her or something.Ó Draco answered him quietly. He looked at Harry, fear in his eyes. He shook his head. His life had changed so much. His parents were both dead. He was now the head of the Malfoy line. He was having a perfectly civilized conversation with Harry Potter. He was in love with a Muggleborn. He was a Deatheater.

He was so many things.

ÒYou know she loves you, mate. Technically, you wouldnÕt be violating her.Ó Harry said, smiling slightly.  
  


ÒYes, I know. But I donÕt know. Look at her.Ó Draco put his head in his hands. ÒSheÕs been through so much. SheÕs so sad all the time.Ó

ÒWhat does that have to do with sex?Ó

ÒNothing I suppose. IÕve never done it with someone so broken before.Ó Draco replied honestly.

Harry got up, ÒYouÕve also never done it with someone you loved.Ó With that he left the room.

+++++

He watched her smile in her painful sleep. He saw her turn over restlessly, gasping for air. He felt her presence near him even when he wasnÕt in her room. She was everywhere in his heart, following the sounds of his footsteps silently, trailing behind like the lost soul she was. Her spirit in all actuality had died months ago, but her body still lived on with one ounce of hope that she might be saved before her death day.

Her death loomed over him, reminding him everyday of what heÕd have to rob her of. He knew now that he had a love so pure that could quite rightly save his beauty. He was still and would always be her beast. He knew she was still frightened of him, of what he was capable of, even in their most tender moments. He could see the fear in her eyes. He watched her grow steadily weaker as the terror of what might happen started to really sink in. She was falling ever so slowly into a dark abyss of worry and lost hope.

Draco walked into the Hospital Wing, HermioneÕs vanilla shampoo smell lingering in the air. He walked over to her bed, and saw a small cut on her finger. He touched the bloody cut with his thumb. This movement elicited a small cry from what he thought was HermioneÕs closed mouth. He looked at her, and then heard a noise behind him. He turned and saw Madam Pomfrey frantically searching through a drawer in her desk, flailing her arms around in despair and confusion.

ÒMadam Pomfrey?Ó Draco probed, walking towards her, rubbing a tiny drop of blood between his fingers, and watching it dissolve into his skin. He then stopped dead. He remembered something Hermione had done when heÕd last touched her blood. SheÕd searched for that tiny vial just as frantically as the nurse was now. He stood still, about 4 feet away from the desk. He looked down at his thumb and forefinger, a look of mild concern on his face.

ÒOh dear boy, stupid you are!Ó She muttered wildly, making little sense. She continued rummaging through her drawer, until at last she sighed in relief, hurrying over to DracoÕs side and pulling him towards abed. She pushed him down a little too roughly for his taste onto the bed and poured a little of the liquid onto his fingers and down his throat. He coughed slightly and felt himself getting slightly drowsy. The last image he had was of the nurse looking relieved and motherly. He cried out and then fell asleep.

+++

Draco awoke the next morning to see the nurseÕs large backside knelt over HermioneÕs bed next to him. He cleared his throat, but she took no notice. He lay back down on his bed, remembering the dream heÕd had. It was a perfect reenactment of LuciusÕs death. The only difference being Draco had watched it from behind a bush. He shuddered thinking of everything heÕd put himself through thanks to that man.

ÒOh good, Mr. Malfoy. YouÕre up.Ó Madam Pomfrey said jovially. She walked to his bed and put her hand to his forehead. She nodded primly and walked back to HermioneÕs bed. ÒYou may go, Mr. MalfoyÓ, She said, her back still turned, ÒOnly, I think you and Miss Granger should start the, er,Ó She looked uncomfortable, ÒOh, you know what I mean. Her end is near, I can see. If she isnÕt pregnant by the end of the month, sheÕll, er, sheÕll die, Draco.Ó For that, she had turned around and was looking at Draco gravely. He nodded, noting that the end of the month was merely a week away.

Just as he was walking out of the door, he turned to face the nurse, ÒWhen weÕll she be up?Ó He asked.

ÒOh, quite soon I should think.Ó Madam Pomfrey answered, her voice muffled. 

Draco nodded, more to himself than to anyone else. He looked back up to Madam Pomfrey, who was deeply immersed in working for Hermione, a sad smile on her face. Draco looked at HermioneÕs face. He gasped silently when she opened her eyes. With them, she told Draco not to make a sound. She smiled and mouthed, ÒI love you.Ó 

Her eyes closed upon a tear she chose not to set free.

+++++

**A/N **Please review. Thanks for everyoneÕs kind support. I hope the next chapter wonÕt be too awful. Sexual activity will be included!

**Thanks Jem!!! YouÕre a wonderful beta!**


	10. Smile

**Disclaimer:** This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

**A/N **_I am so sorry it took so long. This chapter isn't long. I was planning on making it longer, but then decided it was best to stop here. The story will only be about 2 or 3 chapters longer. Then I shall be home free._

_Please R/R, and again, I am so sorry for the long wait._

_3_

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

Chapter Ten- Smile 

x-x Smile x-x

_I need you around me_

_But I fear I may have to leave_

_I'm sorry if I hurt you_

_But for now_

_Give strength to me_

_You touch me; I'm scared_

You kiss me; I quiver 

_You hold me; I stare_

_Your eyes tell a story_

_You love me_

_I smile_

_I want you to know that_

_I'll always be on your side_

_But let the option be open_

_That one day_

_I may take flight_

_You touch me; I'm scared_

_You kiss me; I quiver_

_You hold me; I stare_

_Your eyes tell a story_

_You love me_

_I smile_

x-x-x-x-x

_He pulled her down ever so carefully, not wishing to mar her skin with his callused hands. He gently took her in his arms and never let her go._

_x-x-x-x-x_

_Hermione walked alone, along the forest's edge, feeling the dewy grass beneath her bare feet. She was cold and contemplative, a perfect mix for such a wet morning. Her hair was draped around her shoulders, frizzy from the precipitation. She was singing softly under her breath, not well exactly, but chilling and strikingly, with such biting honesty that made you feel as if she had written the lyrics herself._

_"She'd do anything to sparkle in his eyes. She would suffer, she would fight and compromise._

_She felt her way through the trees, nearly blinded by the rain that was now heavily falling from the heavens. Her breath caught in her throat, her eyes were now completely gone, lost, her eyes sockets now empty, black voids screaming: oblivion._

x-x-x-x-x

Hermione woke up, scared and shaky. Her dream had been so vividly real; it was hard to tell whether that was reality or whether she was now in actuality. She swept her right hand over her brow and realized she was terribly thirsty. She reached over to her bedside table to retrieve a small glass of water.

Once she's calmed down and recovered from the shock of having no eyes, she called softly out, "Hello?

"Hermione?" A voice whispered back. It was Draco. And there he was in all his shining glory, standing tall and strong, his hair contrasting brilliantly with the darkness of the room. He walked silently over to Hermione's bedside and heard her whimper slightly. He sighed.

"Are you scared of me?" He asked.

"No", Hermione replied, "I'm scared of nothing.

Draco looked puzzled, "I don't believe that. No one is scared of absolutely nothing.

"No, Draco. I mean of oblivion. What comes after death? Is there really a Heaven? Or are we all damned to live in Hell for eternity? I can't bear the thought of darkness either. What's going to happen to me, Draco? I can't just sit still waiting for it to happen." Hermione looked as if she'd thought this out a great deal, and her eyes were wild and burning, calling out to Draco, as if they desperately hoped he had an answer to all of this.

"You're not going to die. I'll make sure of it." Draco stroked her head, "I'd like to make love to you." He looked nervous.

Hermione couldn't restrain herself, and she giggled.

"What?" Draco demanded, leaping from the bed, his temper and anger rising.

Hermione's laughter subsided and she cooed, "No, baby. I'm sorry. Of course you can make love to me. Boys don't generally use that expression. I'd never have expected it from you especially." She shook her head and chuckled at the lovability of his words. She sighed and patted the bed next to her, "Come here." He sat, still a bit ticked off. "Thank you for cheering me up.

x-x-x-x-x

He paced his room, looking at his watch every so often. Draco was very nervous. One could imagine the beads of perspiration dripping down his pale, chiseled face. He shook his head and sat down on the bed in front of him. The luxurious velvet duvet felt soft under his shaking hands and comforted him. Today, he would truly show Hermione how much he loved her. 

He saw her walk in, and he smiled nervously. She didn't return the smile, but her eyes were bright and dancing. She walked over slowly to him, and sat beside his quivering body.

"Don't be so nervous. You've done this before." Hermione whispered. She stroked his hair gently, and he nodded, and swallowed thickly. She stood, and began unbuttoning the buttons of Draco's school shirt.

The sky outside was dark, and the moon has risen high in the sky, the stars twinkling brightly. Hermione had now managed to remove Draco's shirt. She stood back to admire his pale body. She smiled and took off her cardigan, revealing just her bra underneath. He gulped and wondered why she was so calm about everything. He imagined it would be him removing their clothing and calming the situation. Instead, he was having mini heart attacks with every touch.

"Hermione, I should be doing this." He stood and pushed her gently onto the bed. She nodded slightly, and began unfastening his belt. He shook his head, but let her continue. Then she began unbuttoning his trousers, but he stopped her.

"Not yet." He lifted her up and took her to the head of the bed, where he lay her down, sliding his hands down her body like wisps of smoke, so light, she almost couldn't feel him. She slithered out of her skirt and let him take off her shoes and socks. She was now merely in undergarments, and she wanted to make it even. Hermione sat up and pulled Draco down with her, onto the bed. She began unbuttoning and then when she had finished, pulled off his trousers, exposing his erection. She giggled lightly, so he wouldn't hear her.

"Hermione, I love you." Draco whispered.

"I know you do, Draco." She said, and she stroked his face, feeling slight stubble she'd never noticed before. She kissed him imperceptibly and trailed more kisses down his neck. She pulled herself on top of him and continued her exploration. Draco was enjoying this, but he knew it wasn't how he wanted it to be.

He flipped her over gently and began teasing her slightly with his tongue before reaching behind to unbutton her bra. Then he felt her tug his boxers down and he decided just to remove her panties as well.

"Are you sure you want it this fast?" Draco questioned her.

"Mm hmm." Hermione whispered.

"Alright." And he entered her slowly, letting the pleasure seep to the tips of his toes. He hoped Hermione was enjoying this as much as he was.

x-x-x-x-x

The sun shone brightly through the drapes of the bedroom, casting as eerie glow over the room, bathing everything in a soft golden light. Her hair in her face, Hermione unconsciously swatted it away, hitting Draco on the nose.

"Ow!" Draco muttered, turning over and opening his eyes groggily. He saw Hermione, in his bed, breathing mellifluously. Her unruly hair was in disarray this morning, and he chuckled faintly. He began stroking her hair lightly as she muttered softly. He couldn't make out was she was saying, but her lips formed a small smile. He kissed her head, and tried to get up. He was stiff and his head was pounding.

"Draco?" A tired, small voice asked behind him. Hermione was sitting up, her hair extremely messy and her eyes only half open. "Draco, I don't feel well. Hermione whispered. She tried to get up, but her limbs felt heavy, and her heart sunk to her stomach. She didn't think she was supposed to feel this terrible. She was supposed to be saved.

"Draco." And with that, she collapsed onto the floor.

x-x-x-x-x

Harry and Draco paced the Hospital Wing once again, feeling rather horrible. Hermione was not supposed to be feeling like this. Her system was going haywire and her organs weren't functioning properly. Madam Pomfrey looked worried, but not surprised, when Draco had brought Hermione into her care. She just muttered sadly and stroked the broken girl's face.

"You don't think anything will happen?" Draco asked nervously. He was beyond crying. He felt that everything was his fault in this situation. He was blaming himself for things that secretly he probably knew he couldn't have prevented. _I should have fallen in love with her sooner, so she wouldn't have slept with Krum. _Or, _maybe I didn't do it right. Maybe we shouldn't have waited so long to do it._

"Draco, don't be so fucking pessimistic." Harry nearly yelled, but Draco saw the look in his eyes. He was worried out of his mind too. Draco walked over to Harry and did something he thought he'd never do. He enveloped him in a hug, and began to sob on his shoulder. Harry patted his back awkwardly, and felt his eyes stinging as well.

Harry was beside himself inside. He'd kept such a calm appearance this entire year, when really all he could think about was, _What if I lose Hermione? Then I won't have anyone. Ron's gone; my parents are gone. Ginny is practically dead to me too. All I have is Hermione._

"She won't die, Draco." He whispered to the now much calmer Slytherin. "She just can't.

x-x-x-x-x

A/N _Please, review. I took so long to update for this, and for that I apologize, but, I have noticed many people adding me and not reviewing. Please, please review!!_

_3_


	11. Ghosts

**Disclaimer:** This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

**A/N **_I'm sorry this took so long. My fan fiction inspiration is dwindling. I don't really have any idea when I'm going to finish this story, hopefully soon. There are about two chapters remaining, I think. This one, and an epilogue. Or maybe two more chapters and an epilogue. I haven't decided._

_Well, I hope you enjoy this. And it's a poem again._

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

Chapter Eleven- Ghosts 

x-x Ghosts x-x

_Troubled and terrified_

_Not allowed to move_

_She lies awake in her dreams_

_Wrapped up in you_

_You're like a drug to her_

_You're something strong _

_That gets her high_

_She can't wait for you for too long_

_So like a ghost she'll drift_

_Away from you_

_And there won't be anything _

_You can do_

_You've always been sorry_

_But the ghosts have always_

_Told you you were wrong_

_That you had to be strong_

_She needs you to be strong_

x-x-x-x-x

_Broken hearts never felt this cold before. But since your eyes are ice and your hands are tied, you must let her drift. You must let her go._

_x-x-x-x-x_

Draco stood next to Hermione's bed, looking down at her sickly pale skin. Her hair was matted and she had beads of perspiration on her upper lip. The inner turmoil inside him was enough to create a tornado of _What ifs _and _I hates _and _Whys._ He felt lost without talking to her now; he didn't even know what to do with himself. He went to classes, and came back every night, and during breaks.

Harry rarely came to visit now. He'd always try to stay away so as not to provoke Draco. Anytime anyone came into that room, Draco either wouldn't speak, or yelled and kicked and screamed at them. Even Madame Pomfrey would leave Draco alone with Hermione. It was as if he'd gone mad with guilt and rage and sadness. It was clear to anyone who saw him that he was in agony. He had bags under his eyes for he rarely slept anymore, and his hair was long, and he had a pale beard, something a Malfoy was never supposed to have.

As the months passed since Hermione's collapse, she had only woken up once or twice, to look at Draco fondly, and then slip back into the coma she was in. Madame Pomfrey watched as Hermione's stomach grew, and she told Draco that if all went well, Hermione would wake up as soon as her water broke and the baby was born. Professor Snape would then concoct the antidote and Hermione would be saved.

x-x-x-x-x

One day, Madame Pomfrey pushed Draco away from the infirmary, with little explanation as to why. He stormed angrily around the school, nearly growling at anyone who came close to him. He'd become a kind of ruffian, with his clothes dirty and black and torn in places.

He ran into Harry. He literally ran into Harry, and fell on the floor, his back sore in seconds from the fall.

"Watch it, Potter." He said with the same malice he had used when the boys were enemies.

"Sorry." Harry mumbled, offering a hand to the pale Slytherin, who took it and pulled himself up. Harry was amazed at how light Draco ha become, and how thin he looked.

"Potter, let me ask you something," Draco said drunkenly, "Why is it that you can tolerate me now?"

Harry looked down at his feet, "I trust Hermione's judgment."

Draco nodded, "And that somehow erases everything I've ever done to you? Everything my father's put you through? Even Voldemort?"

"You never associated yourself with Voldemort, except when you associated yourself with your father, and I know long ago you stopped doing that."

"Are you scared?" Draco asked.

"Of what?"

"Maybe. . . definitely having to fight him." Draco looked up to see Harry uncomfortable. He was dragging his foot against the stone floor, his hair covering his face, his bright eyes just visible underneath the black cloak.

"Of course I am." Harry finally decided to say. "Of course I'm scared. I'm not fearless, never have been. I just know that I was born to do this, and I have to."

"I really hope that shithead goes down." Draco said bitterly.

"Mm, so do I. So do I."

x-x-x-x-x

Draco and Harry took a walk through the grounds, not saying a word, just simply walking on the springy grass, with no shoes on.

The sun was setting and Draco suddenly looked up, alert.

"She's up."

"What?" Harry asked, puzzled.

"I'm sure of it. She's up."

"How could you possibly know that?"

Draco was running, a smile on his face, "Because. . . I just remembered, today is the day we're supposed to have our child!"

Harry took off at a run, "Oh God."

The two men ran as fast as they could up the steps and through the heavy doors. Heads spun to watch as they dashed down the corridors, eliciting gasps and speculation from the portraits on the walls. They finally reached the infirmary and Draco pulled open the door.

Hermione was screaming.

Madame Pomfrey was in a state. She had two students who were both interested in the medi-witch profession practically in tears trying to prepare everything for the girl in labor.

"Draco! Draco. Dracoooooo!" Hermione was panting, and demanding he be there. He rushed to her side, taking her hand in his, smiling. She was going to be okay!

"Ow!" Hermione yelled. Harry stood awkwardly by the door, not quite sure what to do with himself. Madame Pomfrey bustled over, towels in her arms. She dumped them into Harry's and said, "Potter, dear, make yourself useful! Bring those towels over there, and then go find Professor Snape."

Harry nodded, and ran to give the towels to the two apprentices. He then dashed out the door and out of sight.

Draco held Hermione's hand, and flinched slightly when she squeezed harder. There were beads of sweat on her forehead and upper lip. Her face looked tired, even thought she'd been in a coma for nine long months. She had passed her 7th year at Hogwarts asleep, and every one of her old school mates had taken their NEWTS and gone on to find jobs. Draco and Harry had stayed behind to look after her.

"It'll be okay, darling." Draco whispered, hoping, and praying that Snape's potion worked and that his lover would be saved. Hermione screamed once more, as if in response to Draco's words.

Draco looked at her, this angel of his, and decided to ask her the question that had been on his mind since they'd made love. He took a deep breath as Hermione whimpered once more.

"Hermione, I was wondering if. . . if when you got better, if when you had our child, you might want to. . . marry me?" Draco whispered the last bit. Hermione snapped her head towards him, and smiled before she yelled again.

"Yes Draco. Yes, yes, yes." She said.

Harry ushered Snape in, and following the two was Dumbledore. Snape told Harry to take his key and go fetch the few ingredients he needed to make the potion. Harry nodded, and hurried off once more, looking sad and determined.

Madame Pomfrey said, "Okay, we're going to give her a potion to make the baby come more quickly, so that the girl can be put through less pain, and can be saved faster." Her two assistants nodded, and Draco smiled. Madame Pomfrey took a vial from her desk and walked over to Hermione's bedside. She handed the vial to Draco, and smiled weakly at him. Draco took no notice of Madame Pomfrey's obvious worry, and gave Hermione the potion.

After half an hour of hard work, Sariah Narcissa Malfoy was born. She had, uncharacteristically for a baby, a tuft of blond curls on her head, and eyes like Draco's. She looked like Hermione, with Draco's coloring.

Draco held her in his arms proudly beaming, while everyone was frantic making the potion and removing the hair from the baby's head. He looked fondly down at his fiancée, who watched him and Sariah with a tired smile.

"The potion is read Ms. Granger. Mr. Malfoy, would you care to give it to her?" Snape walked up to the bed, and handed Draco the potion, "Here we are."

Draco took the vial, and with sigh of relief, he gave it to Hermione. She smiled up at him and all signs of fatigue vanished from her person. Draco gave Sariah to Harry to hold, and bequeathed him her Godfather. He smiled, remembering Sirius fondly.

Draco got down on his knees and put his face about an inch from Hermione's. She smiled and put her hand to Draco's face when a tear escaped his eye.

Snape whispered something to Madame Pomfrey, and she looked down at her hands with tears in her eyes. Dumbledore looked gravely at the couple and shook his head. Harry watched this strange behavior with curious eyes. Then he looked to Hermione, and saw the color draining from her face. He shook his head, "No!" With Sariah in his arms, he rushed to Draco and Hermione, and saw that Hermione understood what was happening.

"Draco," she whispered, "Never forget how much I love you, how much you showed and taught me. You gave me so much hope, more than I could ever had hoped for. Promise me you'll find someone, so you may raise our daughter with a proper family." Her voice was growing raspy and tired. A tear rolled down her cheek, "I love you more than words can possibly express." She then looked at Harry and smiled. After looking at Snape, Madame Pomfrey, and Dumbledore, she kissed Sariah on the head and then soundly, chastely, kissed Draco.

"I love you." With that said, her eyes fluttered closed.

"What?" Draco stood up, touching her face. "What the hell happened? What's going on? Fuck! Snape, what the fuck did you do? Why isn't she awake?" He ran up to him, taking him by the robes, angry tears running down his face. "Why the FUCK isn't she awake?"

Dumbledore walked up behind him, putting a hand on his shoulder, which Draco quickly shook off. "Mr. Malfoy, earlier, Madame Pomfrey noticed something different about the way Hermione's birth was going. Generally, victims of this disease have a painless birth. When they don't, their disease is incurable."

"What?" Draco stood, his eyes wide, tears now streaming down his pale cheeks. "Why? Why didn't you tell me? Why did you make her take that vial of potion to speed up the process?"

"It did not speed up the pregnancy, Mr. Malfoy. It gave Hermione life. Normally, victims of her particular disease die as soon as they have given birth."

Harry interjected, "And what about the other potion. The one that was supposed to save her?"

Snape answered, "I didn't know at the time that it wouldn't work. Madame Pomfrey and Dumbledore failed to tell me that detail. Perhaps they hoped Hermione was a special case."

Draco looked up, walked slowly towards Harry, taking Sariah in his arms. He then walked over to Hermione's body, stroking her cheek for the last time, and placing kiss on her forehead. Without a look at any of the people in the room, he walked out.

x-x-x-x-x

**A/N** _Wow. I'm sorry I did that. Don't hate me. I just had a nice idea for the epilogue and well. . . I wanted her to die at the end. I thought it would bring a bit of reality to this very magical tale. I hope you don't hate me for taking so long either. I have such a bad case of writer's block now. Ugh. Well, I think I shall stick to writing one shots and song fics from now on. This took a very long time to write, and while I am rather proud of it, and many of you seem to like it, I just don't think I have the patience to write stories this long._

_There will be an epilogue after this._


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